Well, I guess I should get this out of the way and say there is very limited parking at this location. If you're used to parking right out front of a Starbucks, you're shit out of luck, pal. There are only like 5 spots outside, and those are shared with the travel agency and beauty salon. Plus they're not great spots anyway because you have to back out into traffic. It's scary wondering if you're going to get t-boned after getting your coffee. I guess you could back into the spot, but who does that? Only cops and gangsters, neither of which you are. Or maybe you are. Who knows?
I usually walk here, but if I drive, I park at the Jack In the Box. There are signs that say, "NO STARBUCKS PARKING; ALL VIOLATORS WILL BE GROUND UP INTO MUSH AND TURNED INTO TWO TACOS FOR 99 CENTS." Okay, it doesn't actually say the last part; just the first part. Still, if you're not gonna get your coffee and sit inside, why not risk it? By the times it takes Jack in the Box to call the tow truck company, you'll be long gone. And it's not like there's workers back there to check to see if you're going into Jack in the Box. They might have cameras. I dunno. Either way, it's never been a problem for me. Other people say they park in the Rite Aid across the street. I've never done that, but that's an option, too.
As for the long lines, that's definitely true. Even with the shitty parking situation, there's usually a long ass line. Maybe it's because the workers are slow. I dunno. I usually just check my phone while the line snails its way forward. I don't have a job so it's not like I have anywhere to be. I probably shouldn't be getting $5 coffee with my unemployment benefits, but you have to have something each day to keep you going, right?
The workers here are nice. They remember your name and order usually. When they don't, I make a big fucking scene like, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!" It's a dumb question because obviously they don't. If they did, there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place. The one who ends up looking stupid is me; not the barista, even though it's their fault for not remembering my name and order. I mean, I'm there everyday! Maybe I don't have a memorable face. That could be why I don't have much luck on Tinder, either. Or maybe it's because I keep mentioning I don't have a job. I don't think women like that I don't have a job. It's not like it's permanent. Only for six months.
So anyway, after I get my coffee, I like to sit down and drink it. You an sit inside the store. That's where the people with the laptops sit and do their work. I like to peek over their shoulders and see what they're working on. It's mostly something boring like email or Facebook. But sometimes it's a novel or a movie script! When it's that, I read it and decide if it's a good story or not. Sometimes I'll tell the person their story is good. They get mad when I do that, like, "Why are you looking at my screen?" Because you're in a public space, jerk. Sheesh. If I had a laptop, I'd sit inside all the time. When I get a job, that's the first thing I'm going to buy.
Actually, it's not all bad that I don't have a laptop because I can sit outside with my coffee. That's where the people without laptops sit. I guess you could sit out there with your laptop, too, but I don't think that would be such a good idea. It might get dirty or a bird might poop on it. If bird poop seeps into your laptop and breaks it, will the warranty cover it? I dunno. It's usually lots of old people outside. They sure have a lot of time on their hands. They're always sitting around drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. It's actually quite nice outside because there's a big ol' tree in the center of the patio. It reminds me of what Europe or the Middle East might be like. When I get a job, I'm gonna go to Europe or the Middle East. Hopefully I'll be able to take my girlfriend, and we can drink coffee together under a tree. Until then, I'm gonna sip my Starbucks under the tree and think about ways to get a job. read more