"You can't go wrong with a Margherita pizza." Well, apparently you can at Etto.
Since Etto's opening this past year, I have avoid eating at this establishment in protest of their unethical choice to include rabbit, the third most popular pet in the US, on their menu; while some may find eating rabbit to be "trendy," I find it abhorrent. However, on Friday night I saw that rabbit was not on the menu, so I decided to finally give this restaurant a try. We were fortunate enough to only have to wait 30 minutes for outdoor seating, which ended up being the most pleasant part of this dining experience.
Noticing there were few vegetarian items on the menu, we asked our waitress what she would recommend for us to order. She said the quote I wrote at the top of my review, "you can't go wrong with a Margherita pizza;" trusting her advice, we order the Margherita, kale salad, eggplant parmesan, and the French breakfast radishes. The radishes were meager but fine, however the bread they were served with tasted plain gross (perhaps I am jaded because I was expecting this dish to match the excellent radish crudite from Etto's neighbor Le Diplomate). The eggplant parmesan was okay -- burnt and bland are the first adjectives that come to mind now as I write this review. The kale salad was a disappointment; the kale was DRENCHED in their dressing -- normally I would have found this inedible, but I was so hungry at the time that I powered through eating this soggy mess of a salad.
After three unsatisfactory dishes, we were eagerly anticipating the arrival of our pizza, figuring there's no way a pizzeria would have bad pizza. As it turns out, we were wrong. The Margherita pizza had the absolute thinest crust of a pizza I had ever seen, and this was matched by an even thinner layer of tomato paste. Six pieces of mozzarella were unevenly sprinkled throughout the pizza, resulting in some slices that literally had no cheese. As I carefully picked up my first slice, the mozzarella and paste immediately went flying off the pizza and fell on my plate; after scooping these contents back on, I took a bite of my pizza and realized this was the worst dish of the entire menu. The crust of the pizza was burnt and tasted like charcoal, however the rest of the dough was soggy and wet. I don't know how Etto achieved this mismatch in disgustingness, however, they were successful. If we weren't so hungry, I can't imagine we would be able to finish this pizza, but we did and after four dishes we were still hungry; learning from our mistakes, we knew it would be smartest just to ask for the check and get out of there. After paying the overpriced bill we left and said to each other, "At least we got to eat outside on this beautiful night..."
Finally, food issues aside, the tap water at Etto had a gross flavor as well, so much to the point that after half a glass I forced myself to stop drinking it. All of this being said, there was nothing redeeming about my meal at Etto and this restaurant now officially ranks to me as the worst restaurant on 14th Street. read more