i vow on every last digested morsel of food eaten here that i will never come back! *throws chopstick*
It was the warmest day of the year today, and the first day i had felt happy in a long time. I never come to China town when the moon is not out, so this was a rare treat. During my walk around the neighborhood i had planned to make my lunch out of some sashimi from the Uwajimaya deli (easy on the wallet, easy on the tummy, no tip needed), but gave up and ducked into Purple Dot to try a couple dim sum dishes out of a desperate need to eat something. In the back of my conscience, I knew P-Dot was not the best place to go in China Town and that i should hold out or go next door to Homestyle Hong Kong Cafe....but i had never tried their lunch dim sum and i am too impulsive.
Under the pushy and uninterested pressure of my waitress, I hurriedly pointed to what i wanted from the tiny dim sum menu the minute i sat down (the choices were less than enthralling, but not horrible): eggplant stuffed with shrimp, and chicken feet. Having my order taken felt like i was asking my waitress to wax my bikini line. Paying $5 for each dinky dim sum entree should have come with the service, if you ask me.
I ate alone, and the only other table was occupied by a couple of ladies, so it's not as if my patronage was obtrusive. The waitstaff (one guy, one girl) spent 99.9% of their time hiding in the back. My food came out at such a snail's pace that i couldn't begin to wonder why this single order - and i mean, the only order in the place i am pretty sure - of chicken feet and stuffed eggplant had been such a task (or maybe i did not want to know!). They were delivered like an unwanted pregnancy to my lonely table. My inquiries for chili sauce were met with, "THERE," and a chilly index point to a nondescript tin on the table. THANKSSOMUCHTHISLOOKSSOGOODYUMYUM!!! God, lady!
I hate playing the part of the dumb white chick who will take crap from bad service at Asian restaurants. But that's what i did.
The chicken feet sucked. And i TRIED to suck...the feet, that is. They were not those fatty, gelatinous little morsels of delight i was anticipating. These chickens were anorexic. I think what took so long in the kitchen was that the chef had Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie shipped over and deep fried their talons. The eggplant was nice and big and juicy, however. So that's that.
My tea was a tall glass of lukewarm sewer water.
Nobody checked in on me, and that's fine. The cook and the waiters peered over at me a few times from the kitchen in a mockingly funny way a couple of times. I felt like i was on some sort of Laugh At the Stupid Customer Candid Camera Show. Maybe i was paranoid. I'm not really sure!
After playing with my food, i finally gave up and wanted to go join what was left of the sunshine. The waitress ignored me awhile and squawked away on her cell phone until i interrupted her enough to get her to bring me my check. I wondered about leaving no tip, but i have never done that, and the times that i've left a bad one i felt like a jackass. I left $3 on the two $5 dim sum dishes and wrote a sad face and a note along the lines of, "Get off your cell phone" and , "Take a clue from Homestyle Hong Kong Cafe". I don't know. Nothing bad. I just love my Hong Kong Cafe. Serves me right for straying. There are so many wonderful places in this neighborhood, and this one is just embarrassing.
You may have gotten my lunch money, you bullies, but you'll never have my business again....i'm walking a different way to school from now on!
*joy read more