I RARELY leave reviews. ...but today I feel compelled. I took my two sons to Denny's because, well, they had never been to one. I figured that this being a brand new location we could experience it before it turned into a typical Denny's. Join me on this journey:
Even though it seemed packed we were sat almost immediately, which was nice. Unfortunately we were sat directly under the lit "Simi Valley" sign. Now, I think the sign looks cool...but when I say "lit" it is an understatement. Every letter has at least a dozen light bulbs and every light bulb seemed to be a 60 wall equivalent (probably a 40, but still). The immediate joke was that we forgot to bring sun glasses and sun screen. They seriously need to put a dimmer on that thing.
After an appropriate amount of time our waiter took our order and brought us water. ...then we waited. The place was busy...but we seemed to get there on the downhill side of their rush. It took, probably 15-20 minutes to get three signature Denny's meals out of the window. The waiter brought them over and asked if there was anything else we needed. "Yes, can we get some silverware and a side of ranch?" I asked. Perhaps what I should have said is "Could we please get some silverware and a side of ranch BEFORE you bring those people over there their coffees, that other table their sodas and then take the order from that table that just sat down?" In retrospect, that is what I should have said...but I didn't realize it was necessary. It was. 5-8 minutes later my son got up to ask someone else if we could get some silverware....our waiter seemed to clue in and finally brought them to us. "I will be right back with your ranch" he said. In retrospect I should have read the subtext and understood that he meant "I will be right back with your ranch after I bring that table some drinks and another table all of their food" and then presumably "and play a few rounds of touch football in the parking lot with my buddies." Okay, he didn't do that second thing...but he also didn't bring the ranch until I was done eating the food I wanted it for. During this entire ordeal our water glasses were doing their best CA reservoir impression and drying up. FINALLY he came by and asked us if he wanted more water. We said yes. This is where it got a little weird. He collected our glasses...left with them, refilled them and then brought them back. Now, these were my sons...so, if I didn't end up with my own glass, no bid whoop...but had I been there with anyone that I didn't feel like swapping spit with I am not so sure I would have accepted the refills. There is a reason why you generally either get fresh glasses of water or get your glasses refilled AT YOUR TABLE. But alas, we got our food and drink.
The food was...well, Denny's food. It was EXACTLY what I went there for. Nothing more, nothing less. The only issue with the food was the lack of utensils to eat it with.
So, we finished....and you think that would be the end of our epic tale...but alas, it wasn't. We were at that point of being so done with our meal that all of the dishes were arranged in a nice, neat stack in the middle of the three of us. We practically had bussed our own table....and yet, we sat. After about 8-10 minutes I literally said to my boys that if I didn't get a check soon we were just going to go to the cash register and say we have been ready to pay but don't know why we never got a check. It was at that minute that the spidey-sense of our server kicked in and he approached and asked if we would like a check. "Yes. Please." is what I said. What I SHOULD have said, on retrospect, was "Could I PLEASE have a check before you take coffee to that table over there and serve food to that other one?" I am CLEARLY not a fast learner...for I did not say those things. I finally saw him run a tag and realized that our adventure would soon be coming to a close. He brought the bill and we got up to leave the warming glow of the light-house that was our table.
You know the front of the house where a nice manager asks you how your experience was? Yeah, that guy could not have been less interested in the quality of service. He did ask. This is how it went down:
"How was your service today?"
"Well, to be honest, every aspect of our experience today took WAY more time than it should have. It even took out 10 minutes to get our bill."
"....ohhhkay. Well, hopefully it will be better next time."
Who said anything about a next time? A little presumptuous there, Manager guy, don't you think? Someone CLEARLY missed the the "how to feign like you give a flying fuck" module on their "Congratulations, you are an Assistant Manager at Denny's" training videos. I wasn't expecting him to comp anything but he could of at least offered empty platitudes. He did not.
In case you couldn't guess, we are not going back and I would not recommend.
2 stars for the food, zero for the service. read more
