I was early to a flight home from a business trip and looking for some dinner I could expense and checked Yelp reviews for what the least terrible airport food was. I was surprised to see that Santarpio's had 4 stars - rare for an airport restaurant! Well, it turns out that was the Santarpio's *outside* the airport, not the one inside, which is unlisted. So I have added the business here to tell my tale and hopefully save someone else from repeating my mistake. The tale is probably most efficiently recounted through the texts I sent my wife documenting the ordeal:
4:15 pm
Me: The pizza is so big. But I want it.
Wife: Get it, you hardly ate today
M: It's close to my gate yay... it's packed
W: I think you can order online
M: I want to sit and have a wine :(
W: There was another Italian place
M: It's a steakhouse [Note: I'm a vegetarian] ... I think I see some people getting up
W: Nice
M: There seem to be spots at the bar opening... there's a sign that says "please wait to be seated", idk if that includes the bar
W: Probably not
4:32 pm
M: This is chaos I'm so uncomfy... it did include the bar btw. I got yelled at for trying to seat myself at the bar.
W: Are you sitting now though?
M: Yeah, at a dirty table. She told me she would send someone to clean it like 5 min ago
4:36 pm
M: The man is now cleaning the table of some people who JUST left and ignoring me at my table
W: WTF
M: I'm 2 tables down from the table he's cleaning... and they're all 2 tops so they're not far.
4:40 pm
M: A bunch of people are just seating themselves now. I want to cry. I'm so hungry. The man next to me left and the man just started cleaning that table to seat someone at it.
4:44 pm
M: I finally just ordered. Only because I like minorly lost my shit on the guy. I was like, "I'm tired, I'm hungry, I know you're busy but I've been sitting at this dirty table for 10 minutes." Also he said there is no wine... lol. He said "we have no wine at all... except rosé." And I said, "ok so I'll have that." He said "ok it's the last glass" and I said "ok great I'll have that and a cheese pizza." I was going to get toppings but I decided it was not worth dealing with lol
4:50 pm
M: [pic of giant glass of wine] Holy shit lol.
W: Why is it so busy on a Thursday night
M: IDK, how does this have 4 stars on Yelp if this is Thursday night??
W: Right wtf. Hopefully the pizza is good.
5:00 pm
M: It's good. But I have no napkins or utensils.
W: Of course.
M: Not that I need utensils but I would like one (1) napkin. The server just brought a woman who just sat down a glass of white wine????
5:09 pm
M: Let the record show it took 10 minutes and asking 2 different people to get napkins.
W: God.
5:15 pm
M: Let's see how long it takes for someone to come back over.
5:20 pm
M: I could probably leave without paying since I am apparently completely invisible. The people next to me are leaving. They sat about 15 min after me.
5:24 pm
M: I just realized there are 2 sizes for wine on the menu and he did not ask me what size. I feel like this must be the larger. It was a lot of wine. I want to expense this meal but $20 for wine is embarrassing...
5:33 pm
M: I have pushed the plates away from me. Really everything away from me. It has been 25 min since anyone has acknowledged me.
W: I think you should speak to someone at this point.
M: But who lol
5:39 pm
M: The man just stared at me and my table and said nothing. I thought he was going to ask if I'm finished / wanted the check, but then before I could say anything he ran off. It has been 25 min since I stopped eating. 7 min since I finished the wine. 6 min since I put my mask on. 4 min since I put my jacket on. I have now moved my backpack onto the seat next to me, as a show of the fact that I want to leave. My flight boards in 40ish minutes.
5:47 pm
M: I just had a nice convo with the family next to me. I told them my whole story. They were trying to figure out how to order, I said "oh the man will not acknowledge you unless you flag him down."
5:49 pm
M: Ok! He asked me how is everything and I said "I will take the check." 40 min after I finished eating lol.
W: Wow. Should prob have your card ready too lol
M: True... It was the $20 wine :|
6:00 pm
M: Ok we're getting dangerously close to boarding atp.
The server did eventually come back, he did switch the charge to the smaller wine (though of course he blamed me for not specifying), and I did make my plane. 2 stars instead of the well-deserved 1 because the pizza was actually quite tasty. However, the most important feature of an airport restaurant is efficiency, and I have never seen anything quite this disorganized. read more