it's been a month. i have given myself a sufficient cool down period, contemplated the consequences of what i have to say on this establishment as a whole, and thought long and hard about writing this review. but, truth be told, the owner should thank me for the light I'm about to shine on a bad apple, a veritable cancer in laszlo's side...
about a month ago, a group of 5 of us arrive at the bar after dinner at limon down the street. not too crowded this particular night, and i'm happy that a good and friendly bartender welcomes us. he brings us our gin martinis, vodka cranberries, and beers. nothing fancy, nothing special. we have a short friendly exchange. so I'm ready to settle in for a few more drinks, pleased to have a good bartender by my side, my spirits are high, if a bit too self-satisfied that we weren't at medjool next door. and we really did start to have a perfectly fine evening, that is, until we were in for another round and I had to encounter the preter-menstrual she dog behind the bar.
who are you? but more importantly, what the hell is your problem??
what could happen to spark such ire in me? well, it began like this. the nice guy bartender went away for a bit, to the upstairs loft, actually, rearranging chairs and what not. as i waited at the bar for the other bartender on duty - female, shortish dirty blonde hair, i waved my hand at her when we made eye contact. not in a 'over here, lackey!' kind of way, but more in a 'hey, when you get a chance' kind of way to let her know that we were ready to order more drinks. mind you, my good readers, i waved my hand, not my arm, when we made eye contact, not at her or behind her back. but instead of smiling, or giving a nod back, or just getting to us when she could, she yells out from the other end of the bar "don't wave at me, i can see you! so you don't have to wave at me!"
i don't know. i suppose i could have let this go. i could have said nothing, walked out, and never come back. but something was seriously amiss. like what the f just happened?!? kind of amiss. i consider myself to have solid bar etiquette. and as i said, we were having a good time and i really didn't feel like moving a bunch of people, which would take some explaining and then a possible scene. so i waited patiently until she came over. after we got our drinks, i calmly explained that after waiting a bit i waved my hand because i wasn't sure if she knew i wanted her attention but assured her I wasn't trying to be rude. but there was apparently already a serious rift between us since my attempt to address the situation only unleashed the fury in her. she repeated that i didn't have to wave, that waving to get her attention was rude. moreover, didn't we know "this is MY bar?!?". a scene was not to be averted. i asked her if she was kicking us out or if she wanted us to leave. i even told her how she's served me before and was perfectly fine and that i really didn't understand what her problem was now. to which she screeched, "why don't you just go and yelp about me then?!" at first i thought maybe she recognized me from somewhere?? ... curious, but no.
it all started to make sense when i looked on yelp. i read some of the other reviewers' complaints and i get it. you put your post-punk too cool for school attitude on and serve your drinks with a tight lip and a blank stare. maybe you thought you could be the next drink-nazi bartendress who could make people shudder and swoon. but when people called you out on your unnecessary hipster ennui, your funk ass got all sore and started lashing out.
first off lady, it seems you need a hug. and second, a new line of employment. you need to find a less offensive way to work your shit out. a few years ago, we'd have gone to fisticuffs, cause i would have reached right over the bar and smacked you upside the head. (you can take the girl out of queens, nyc.... ) but i've found other ways of working my shit out here in this fine city, and so should you.
we all left and won't be going back. if people wanted to get rankled for no good reason we could just stand out on the street in these here parts, and we wouldn't have stepped into YOUR bar. nice work, lady. just keep working that magic and you'll drive this redundant bar into the ground in no time. read more