Having patronized some of the ghost kitchen businesses affiliated with Joon, such as Franki's Cookies (3.85 to 4.15/5), Pizza Serata (3.25/5), and Yasmine (3.75/5), I had high hopes for the marquee experience: an upscale contemporary Persian sit-down venue. Unfortunately, expectations were, instead of merely not being met, rebuked.
Allegedly there are several publications which have cited this restaurant as being within a portfolio of current top 50 nationwide restaurants, and top 10 in the Virginia/DMV area. I have to offer my most sincere and heartiest of scoffs at any diner, paid or otherwise, pedigreed, affiliated, hired or otherwise, who would be included in such baseless sycophancy. Nothing about Joon supports either laurel.
I dined here for brunch on a warm Saturday afternoon. Per my reservation, I was seated and tended to nigh immediately despite the abundance of customers. Good. The server greeted us and answered questions directly while offering recommendations. Service is to be commended.
Likewise, the ambiance, decor, and tables are of an upscale quality; perfect for any occasion or mood you may seek to invoke.
However, quality of ingredients is not up to par, as some items tasted stale. Execution, perhaps the most grievous offender here, was exhibited in a seemingly willful and intentional attempt to insult the customer; an homage to complete lack of regard or even an attempt, let alone the attention to detail one would presume from an upscale establishment. My two kebab dishes are overcooked and poorly seasoned; the rice is overcooked, overly abundant relative the rest of the respective dish, dry, and lacking any flavor; the tomatoes taste overly boiled and slightly past; the appetizer bread is plain to the point I wouldn't be surprised if it were pre-made and store-bought; the salmon omlette is a mishmash of unprepared cuts of smoked salmon from a grocery refrigerator with hard, crumbly egg yolk loosely encasing it, absent any flavor, softness, creaminess, cohesion, or pizzazz; and the serving sizes, relatively and absolutely, are befuddling. Price-point aside, I would not willingly and knowingly pay for any of these dishes. That they are the prices they are (approx. 156$ for the items pictured below) only compounds the reckless, self-involved, out-of-touch narcissism of critics who would trumpet such a venue. The food is not edible. My fiance and I both agreed, even if removing the factor of price, Wendy's and Taco Bell would have been far more enjoyable.
Honesty, criticality, and an obligation to the every man (relatively) is the way in which an establishment must be judged. Within those confines, it is close to impossible to attempt to offer this business a rating greater than 1/5.
I find more reason for disfavor in that, my friend who joined my fiance and I for lunch was talked down to when he inquired about something he wasn't familiar with. While seeking clarification on what exactly constitutes Persian cheese, as he is not familiar with such, the server acted as if his query was ridiculous and not readily understood; matter-of-factly regurgitating that it is, simply, Persian cheese. It was not until I explained the nature of my friend's query that said conversation advanced. For note, my friend arrived late to our meeting; and my prior note on service solely applies to myself and my fiance.
The best items are the desserts and tea. I am biased in favor of tea, as trying each culture's teas--namely those that put a high emphasis on such--is important to me. I derive a high level of enjoyment from such unless it is beyond disastrous (so the bar is low and the grade inflating is high).
Desserts, on the other hand, suffer from a high bar and low inflation, in that, enjoying sugary sweets is easy; therefore, judgment is critical and unforgiving, as it doesn't take much to make something sweet, delicious. The desserts here are nothing exceptional; but still enjoyable, relative to the food, merely on account of being desserts. Would I rather patronize Lady M or Teas'n'You nearby for such, however? Unequivocally.
I cannot tender a recommendation in favor of even one visit, even if to satisfy curiosity and novelty. Hopefully things improve. As it stands, I double down in my convictions that many cited critics should be stripped of their weight; on the merits of this example; let alone another restaurant in close proximity which is also, in my eyes, unjustly and intentionally dishonestly elevated. read more