The last few years have been hard on everybody.
Everybody is tired, tired of worrying, tired of being afraid.
People are people, they deserve at least the basic respect and decorum to be able to go about their day and struggle through their hardships silently if that's what they wish. If they come in peace let them go in peace is a good motto.
Like I said, that last two years have been hard on everyone. But that last three and a half years have been literal hell to me. My daughter passed in 2018. I'm 29.
I get I may look like I fit a stereotype, and that's fair I guess. I'm tall, handful of shitty tattoos I've had since I was 17. Don't really show much expression. I get it.
The first year after my daughter passed I was a mess. I drank away most of that year when I wasn't working. She was young, very young, and I would've traded places a hundred times over. I would give anything.
After that first year I tried to find ways to stay busy the last few months of the year. Anything really that I could throw myself in just to be able not to think. She was born in December, died in January at six years old.
So this year I decided I was going to throw myself into working on my place, and my ex father in laws place. So I go to lows today, just to kind of browse around, see what they have and what prices they have, pick up some curtains and a new hammer, maybe get lost staring at the grills imaging the possibility of different days. Just try to take my mind off things on another dark day.
I'm doing my wander, checking curtain lengths, find the nails I need, and start looking around to see what isle they may have stashed the hammers on, I mean I'd only been in the store 15 minutes, hardly enough time to memorize it right?
A police officer had been following me in the store, I honestly hadn't noticed, I was kind of lost in my thoughts. As I look around trying to read the signs everywhere to find what I'm looking for she calls out saying I look lost, asking what I'm looking for. Obviously I'm not exactly thrilled to be brought back to the moment. "Hammers" I said "I need to do some cabinet work" I go back looking for a second before I ask "why? Do you work here? Know where they are" she looks at me with what looks like wonder at my obviously rhetorical question and just replies "Does it look like I work here?" I shrug answer " Well I don't know why you're asking me then?" She proceeds to question me on my business, obviously I have no intent to share it. Not because she's a cop, not because she's obviously profiling me, but because quite simply its not her or anybody else's business.
I'm browsing, not touching anything I'm not intent to buy, absolutely no reason for anyone to speak to me who wasn't wearing a red vest.
She proceeds to tell me that I'm acting suspicious, I tell her she's profiling me for being a big dude in an A-frame with bad tattoos. She says I'm acting different than other customers because I'm just walking around and not buying anything, again only been inside 15 minutes people. I ask her honestly if nobody wandered around browsing and she reiterate that yes they did, but I fit a criteria. If I'm honest at that point I was just trying not to cry. I'm exhausted, I haven't slept a decent night in years, and I just want to be left alone.
takes my items and sets them down, proceeds to walk me out of the store, making me do the grand walk of shame if front of customers and employees like I'm a criminal.refuses to get her police sergeant down there saying she's off duty and working for lowes. Mind you, in full uniform, with city issued gear on, but whatever. We get outside where she proceeds to question my business, where I work, what I do, ECT. Stating when I try to tell her how wrong of a situation this all is that she'll have me arrested for trespassing. The manager comes out, shrugs, tells me it's up to the cop.
Doesn't matter I didn't do anything wrong, illegally or erratic
Eventually they let me back in, with escort. get my nails, my hammer and my curtains, and manage to get outside before I break down. read more