In my mind's eye, I picture Beth as a broad-shouldered bull-browed woman with respectable scars and blurring tattoos on her popeye-like forearms, croaking out affectionate abuse to the regulars while easily managing a flat top covered with eggs, bacon, hash browns, and pancakes. In her youth she was a groupie, and there is a rumor, which she won't confirm or deny, that Peter Criss was singing that ballad to her, tears streaking his cat facepaint.
Only a Beth like that could possibly helm a café like this, where the small omelets are six eggers served on pizza plates, and the homemade hashbrowns are all-you-can-eat, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, from bar crowd to family breakfasts.
Beth's manages to cover off two Fieri categories - it is both an excellent diner and a brilliant dive.
It's worth repeating my criteria for great dives:
1. Outsde - Organic architecture. You can't fake the funk. If you started with a modern steel box, you aren't going to get there. The building should look ramshackle, old, lived-in, maybe on the verge of falling over.
Check - Beth's building went up in the 30s and the cafe opened in 1954 on Aurora, which was basically Seattle's red light gaming district and remains just a little seedy.
2. Inside - Funky, eclectic decor. Something you weren't expecting on the walls or ceiling, like, say, a vintage ice racing sailboat, a collection of Ernest Borgnine portraits, live turtles.
Check - everyone gets crayons and paper and notable opuses (opii?) paper the walls and menus (menuii?).
3. Staff - friendly, but in the words of Johnny Rotten pretty.....vacant.
Check - We've had great luck with servers, but if the 8am-4pm shift is late, you can bet the 12-8am staff is going to be cranky. At our 7:30 breakfast one server barreled out of the back room shouting "don't trust any of them, none of them are drinking coffee."
4. Welcome - Your first impression should be "What in the world am I walking into? Am I welcome here? Is this place a front? Which of these people work here?" That should quickly be followed by a hearty and genuine welcome from whoever actually does work there, or their friend who is just "hanging out".
Check - the entrance is nearly on top of the cashier station and faces the chaotic open kitchen and counter filled with locals trying to time their next cigarette break with their coffee refills.
5. Food - surprisingly fresh and good.
Check - everything is house made - including the biscuits. The place goes through nearly half a million eggs a year, nothing sits around here.
There may be better breakfast spots in Seattle, but I'll never know about them, because Beth's is so reliable. It really deserves 3.5 stars. read more