I have extremely mixed feelings about Bernie's because during one of the hardest and most stressful weeks I've had in a long time, I experienced both an incredible amount of kindness here and, unfortunately, some of the worst treatment I've ever received from someone associated with a business.
I ended up stranded in San Francisco for about six days after my car was T-boned and needed major repairs before I could make it home to Southern California. During that time, Bernie's became one of the places where I spent quite a bit of time. I want to make something very clear: I was not simply coming in to use the restroom, Wi-Fi, charge my phone, or take up space. I was a paying customer. I came back on multiple days and purchased something whenever I was there.
The person I especially want to recognize is Ellen. She was unbelievably kind to me. From the very first day, she listened to what I was going through and treated me with genuine empathy and compassion. She allowed me to charge my phone when I was dealing with everything surrounding my car, and she even wished me a happy birthday because that first day happened to be my birthday. It may have seemed like a small gesture to her, but when you're stranded hundreds of miles from home, dealing with an accident, repairs, money, transportation, and uncertainty, simple human kindness means more than people realize.
Ellen honestly reminded me of how human beings should treat one another. She never made me feel embarrassed or looked down on me because I happened to be going through a difficult situation. She treated me like a person. I will always remember that, and I genuinely hope the people who run Bernie's understand what an asset she is to this place.
Unfortunately, my experience with a woman who I understood to be one of the owners was the complete opposite.
One day I was sitting there with a friend, again as a paying customer, when I overheard this woman talking negatively about us to other customers. I heard comments describing us as "disgusting" and "dirty," along with remarks about wanting to kick us out. Rather than approaching us directly like adults if there was some kind of problem, she chose to talk about us within earshot and to other people in the cafe.
I cannot adequately explain how humiliating and degrading that felt.
There is a tremendous difference between a business owner politely telling someone, "Hey, we need the table," "We have a time limit," or even simply asking someone to leave, versus openly insulting paying customers and talking about them to other patrons. If she had approached me respectfully and told me there was an issue, I would have listened and respected whatever reasonable policy the cafe had. Instead, I felt judged, demeaned, and treated as though my friend and I were somehow beneath everyone else in the room.
What made it especially upsetting was that she had no idea what had brought me there or what I had been dealing with that week. I wasn't asking anyone to give me anything for free. I was supporting the business repeatedly while trying to get through several very difficult days until I could finally get my car repaired and get home.
I don't expect special treatment because I was having a hard week. I expect the same basic level of dignity that any customer should receive.
That is why my experience here is so complicated. Ellen showed me exactly how much kindness from a stranger can matter. The owner showed me exactly how much unnecessary cruelty from a stranger can hurt.
I am genuinely grateful to Ellen, and she is the reason I cannot look back on Bernie's entirely negatively. I hope she knows that her compassion mattered to me far more than she probably realized.
At the same time, I sincerely hope the ownership reflects on how customers are spoken to and spoken about. You never know what somebody sitting across from you is going through. More importantly, you shouldn't have to know their life story in order to treat them with basic respect.
Thank you, Ellen. I will remember your kindness for a very long time. read more