The pretentiousness and bad service of an overhyped Brooklyn vegetarian restaurant conveniently located in up-and-coming, crime-reduced, almost-totally-gentrified Bloomfield!
If I could give 0 stars, I would.
I wanted to like this place. I really did.
However, after observing dinner service here, it *boggles my mind* how this place has anything higher than one star.
Here's the beginning and the end of Apteka's huge, glaring problem: Apteka does not have servers.
I'm not joking.
Let me say that again in all caps. APTEKA DOES NOT HAVE SERVERS.
If you want *anything* you have to GET UP FROM YOUR TABLE and go to the very small entranceway of the restaurant and wait in the cramped single line with *every* other patron of the restaurant *every* time you (or they) want a drink or want to order ANYTHING. As if that wasn't bad enough, any time a new group enters the restaurant to order their table's *ENTIRE MEAL* they get put into the same single-file line.
I want to be really really clear about this: Apteka has ONE CASH REGISTER and ONE PERSON taking EVERY ORDER IN THE RESTAURANT.
The owner of Apteka apparently feels that his new amazing ordering system is better than the time-honored tradition of having a specific member of waitstaff assigned to certain tables to make sure their PAYING CUSTOMERS are happy.
Instead, Apteka deploys a bunch of chaotic food and drink "runners" (INCLUDING THE OWNER -- moron that later) that zoom around the cramped restaurant desperately trying to find the correct table for the drink that is already 10 minutes late because of the incredibly idiotic ordering/serving system that they use here (I'm using the word "system" very liberally here).
When I *finally* got to the front of the line, I asked the poor girl at the front (at the ONE cash register) what happens if she needs to go to the bathroom. She just laughed nervously. Asking who's idea this whole thing was and if the owner was here tonight prompted a saucy response from the bartender "oh, what, are you in the industry?"
Uh. Yeah. I'm in the industry. I'm a PAYING CUSTOMER AT YOUR ESTABLISHMENT. I should be the MOST IMPORTANT person in the industry at the moment you are interacting with me, especially if I have a totally valid complaint.
I laughed off the bartender's snark at the time, but it didn't sit right with me, and these are the kinds of interactions that cause these kind of reviews to be written. Good job, pal.
As for the owner, I was going to say something to him personally, but he was too busy (trying to) deliver drinks to long-waiting customers. Unfortunately for him, his own disorganized system resulted in him having to run around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to find the right table for the random beers he was trying to deliver.
Dear owner of Apteka: If you enjoy running your restaurant, and if you want to HAVE a restaurant to run in the future, you have a decision to make: Either change the horrible ordering/serving process, or start figuring out what your next job is going to be after the hype fades and people simply stop coming back.
Your call. read more