Timing...good sex is about good timing, right? Well, this prostitute was an expensive April Fool's Joke! She couldn't even fake it. No sense of rhythm whatsoever!
We ordered the crab rice - among several other dishes - as a SIDE DISH to complement the meal. The rice came first. We stared at it waiting. Waited and waited and waited. Surely the sustenance this rice was to accompany was soon on its way, right?...There we sat, staring at the damned rice for the pork and the cabbage, we hoped would accompany it...no, we were sure, it was, surely, on its way...In Thailand, is rice an appetizer? So...by the time something came to accompany this staple side dish, the rice was cold...and the crab tasted quite fishy.
I had to think of Anthony Bourdain's advice about never going to brunch...OH! I get it! Taco Tuesday is when they get rid of all the food they didn't sell LAST week!!! Then we sat and sat and sat. And finally some fish came. The sea bream. COLD. Plate was cold. Fish was cold. I asked was the fish supposed to be served like sushi...no. They took it back, and I asked that the veg dragon noodle I ordered be served WITH the fish. At the same time. At a complementary temperature.
(CULINARY SCHOOL 101 - Food must be served at a certain temperature, lest you give your guest DIARRHEA!)
TIMING...Yes, Thailand is a wonderful vacation spot, where time is thrown out the window...but food this expensive? Surely, the Thai have a sense of time for that! Really. The noodles came. And sat and sat and sat, we, staring at the noodles, while we waited for the fish -- I'm sure the very same cold piece of fish that was put before us before, just reheated in a nuker or salamander...
But then no sooner had the fish been set on the table, then we had to stand up and step aside to let another couple sit at out table...COLD noodles, warm reheated fish, that sat there while another couple squeezed into the the cramped space next to us.
Wine was good - very expensive - but again horribly timed...suddenly a loud speaker with horrible rave music was plugged into the wall right next to us! What? We asked if it could be lowered or moved. I mean, c'mon! If the food is really that good, you don't need to work that hard on creating atmosphere! And while they would NOT lower the music, they allowed someone 4 tables away to vape as I tried to swallow my $32 glass of wine. Don't these sommeliers know better? They sure know how to hawk their most expensive. NOBODY Told that person to put her vape away.
Just spent a little more than $400...was the food awful? No. But MEDIOCRE, yes...
I grew up in the restaurant biz in New Orleans. I know that a restaurant is lucky if they break even on the food. The wine and spirits are where a restauranteur makes his money. So kudos, for knowing that and curating a fascinating wine list...but to allow another client to ruin my wine, yet insist on blaring music right next to me????
Lucky for this young restauranteur to so easily dupe his young, hip clientele. This is not how dining is done. Clever service style for Covid, but surely it's too soon for pandemic nostalgia. Stingy on paper napkins. Dirty bathroom. Black mold.
I'll stick with Studio City's Talesai.
PS: ADVICE: Tip in cash AFTER. Just wanted to add...you pay and are expected to tip up front. Had I known the evening would turn out so sourly, I certainly would NOT have opted for the 22% gratuity.
We'd ordered the mango sticky rice for dessert. It came packaged in a to-go box, not even on their single use bamboo plate. But as they'd already run-off with our plastic cutlery, (given how long it took to get anything!) we opted to hit the road...Clearly, they were nudging us out; lady server seemed quite perturbed when we asked for spoons. What were we supposed to enjoy the mango sticky rice with our fingers?!
Anyway, I can't help but think of all the wonderful meals I could have had for two for +$400...Mr. Chow's...Nobu Malibu...Providence...stellar service, delightful ambience...table cloths, napkins, cutlery, conversation friendly... read more