Q: What does it take to drag a girl out from her hidey-hole after a nearly year-long hiatus from the Yelp world?
A: An absolutely kick-ass love story, that's what...
Shall I begin?
It was a chilly Tuesday night, and AP and I were on a Very Important Mission: to warm our bellies with a hefty dose of whiskey. And AP knew just the place.
After parking in a public lot somewhere, I buttoned up my coat while AP zipped up his Osh Kosh B'Gosh hoodie, and off we went, trotting down the streets of Old Town, hop-skipping right past Slater's, and moseying through an inconspicuous set of double doors into the dark, moody interior of a rather simply decorated bar. We had arrived...at The Blind Donkey.
AP and I tuned out the music, turned a blind eye to the handful of people hanging around, and made a beeline for the bar. Comfortably perched on the barstools, AP dove right into the ridiculously extensive whiskey list (it's a page-turner, literally) while I do what I do best: hone in on the food menu.
I was already stuffed silly from an incredibly filling dinner. But - there's always a BUT - my eyes locked in on the "Grilled Cheese on a Stick." My stomach screamed, "No!! No more!" but my taste buds screamed, "Yes! We must taste this!" Taste buds won. They usually do.
With that decision made, I moved on to the drink menu, too...and found myself absolutely overwhelmed by the pages-long menu with a crazy array of drinks priced at the $10 to $20 range (for 1 oz).
So I did the most sensible thing: I picked what sounded the prettiest and had the least alcohol content. Meanwhile, AP, a more experienced alcoholic, opted for a different drink.
Not a minute after our orders were placed, two tumblers appeared before us, complete with giant ice balls - not ice cubes, but ice BALLS, I say - keeping our whiskeys nice and chilly.
We were still nursing Round One when the GRILLED CHEESE ON A STICK came out, complete with a wee little bowl of tomato soup for dipping. Despite the fact that my arteries had already shut down on me, I had to take a teeny tiny bite - and my taste buds were pleased. I didn't eat much more of it, but judging by how AP eventually scarfed down every last morsel, I think I can safely assume that his taste buds were in a happy place, too.
So, with Round One complete, we moved on to Round Two...and right back to the exhaustive selection. This time, I decided to try a different route: pick something with the highest proof for AP and something reasonable for myself. Pointedly ignoring AP's protests, I tried to order him a glass of something that was 130+ proof. But much to my disappointment, they were out. Turns out, they only carry limited quantities of all the whiskeys denoted with ***, and that happened to be one that they were fresh out of. Poop.
But the bartender swooped in to make a recommendation of a 120+ proof whiskey, and I was all smiles once more. And as the clock ticked closer and closer to midnight, as the few remaining customers filtered out, as the alcohol slowly crept up and gave me a very pleasant buzz....we completely ditched the drink list and perked up our ears to the recommendations - and explanations - of the mind-bogglingly informative bartender.
Turns out, John - that's his name - wasn't just a mere bartender; he is one of the owners...and a really, really friendly, knowledgeable one, at that!
John's my age, but the man is a whiskey SAGE. Every recommendation came with extensive background on smell, flavor, type of cask, comparable drinks, origin, how it's made, etc. We tried cheaper; we tried pricier. We tried stronger; we tried lighter. We tried American; we tried Scotch. We tried cocktails; we tried flights. And after each round, as he became more familiar with what we each liked and disliked, his recommendations became more and more spot-on. If he said, "You'll like this," sure enough, we did. If he said, "You'll like this, but you won't," sure enough, one of us did and the other didn't. If he said, "This has higher alcohol content but is much smoother than this one," sure enough, he was right! THE MAN IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
When I first walked into the bar, I had no intention of drinking so much. But faced with a miles-long drinks list and a bartender/owner that knows everything on top of everything about every last bottle in the house...hell, what's a girl to do? TRY AS MANY AS POSSIBLE, of course!
And that, my friends, is how I came to fall in love with a not-so-average, totally-so-awesome whiskey bar by the name of The Blind Donkey.
There are still a gabillion drinks on the menu I haven't tried yet...and I intend to get through as many as possible every chance I get. You can be sure that this review is only the first chapter in what is bound to be a love saga. A girl in love is a force to be reckoned with, and this OC girl isn't going to let 40 miles of highway get in the way of pure, unadulterated romance!
Oh, and did I mention that the restrooms are super clean? ;D read more