Dive bars are fun, and I'm partial to several. A little dust or old surroundings are cool.
But actual slime mold behind the bar crosses the line.
When a place practices such abysmal cleanliness as Tanqueray's does, I am concerned about genuine health risks.
I can't claim I got sick from my visit, other than the urge to vomit triggered by the way Tanqueray's practices "hygiene" -- by seemingly ignoring just about every health department regulation.
Upon first arrival the bar top is as sticky as the floor around the toilets. Given that there's more corn syrup (from the cheap drink mixes this places uses) on the bar top than on the bathroom floor, I'm gonna bet the bar top had more bacteria than the bathroom.
The glasses were not properly washed according to code and no final anti-bacterial rinse agent was used. I watched the process in semi-horror, incredulous at what appeared to be an experienced bartender was doing. But maybe if you've been in the industry that long and you just don't care anymore because the place around you is already so filthy, you just give up caring. I'm not sure, but that was the attitude I strongly perceived (and over-heard).
The ice going into the glasses looked somewhat melted/refrozen in clumps, and that's usually a sign of an ice cooler that isn't working right, or a gummed-up, old, uncleaned "cold plate" (for the soft-drinks in the bar gun) that's heating up the ice only to have it re-freeze again when more ice is dumped in. When I saw that I decided ordering a nice SEALED container of beer was the safer option.
Tanqueray's "bar guns" are seriously old, browned, and gummed. (I was paying pretty close attention to everything after noticing many things that set off alarm bells.)
Those bar gun heads need to be cleaned weekly and replaced as often as they have problems. You can spot a problem by brownish build-up visible through the clear plastic. That's exactly why they're made of clear plastic -- so the bar staff can notice when they need a cleaning. The spout can also collect bacteria, and if I had to place a bet on it, I'd plunk down heavy cash that a swab of the bar gun spouts will produce a jungle growth in a Petri dish.
There are a lot more problems, but let's be pretty clear now about what a dive bar can and can't really get away with:
Looking old is fine, but looking or being UNclean, especially in and around the bar and kitchen, is not ever appropriate.
A bathroom can look kinda divey, but it needs to be reasonably clean, stay clean, and all the plumbing fixtures need to work correctly. Dive bars are hangouts, so the bathroom needs to be something you're comfortable with.
The walls can be covered in dusty-looking artwork, or (often faked) graffiti or whatever. It shouldn't be overly dusty, however. If the walls and hangings get a quick dusting once or twice a month, that covers it pretty well.
This isn't rocket-surgery, folks. It's just plain elbow grease.
When you look at a place like The Lucky Lure or Red 13 or even The Smiling Bison, they each have a kind of divey theme, but all are clean and have very clean, well-maintained bars and drink wells. They take the time to do it right Even super-dive Wally's on Mills has a much cleaner bar area.
It CAN be done - a clean dive. And cleanliness must be kept for any bar to protect the health of its patrons. Tanqueray's fails.
I think that this is such an overwhelming issue here that I've covered little else.
I would be happy to update this review to cover their selection of drinks, the style of the place, the types of music they offer, what they put out for bar snacks (right into the unwashed containers on sticky bar tops), and whatever else they have to offer.
But it's hard to talk about vodka selections when you know it's being poured into a glass that you just witnessed a jaded bartender fail to wash properly, and poured over ice that, likely as not, has a good share of mold and bacteria in it.
The place has an interesting atmosphere. But it's hard to enjoy it when you're hearing the bad attitude of a bartender who is burned out and is loud enough about it to let customers know. (Glassy-eyes are the tip-off that intoxicants may play a role in this.)
There is nothing here to see or pay for until it's clean and has the right procedures.
What kept occurring to me was what a great candidate this place would be for those bar-makeover TV shows. In this case, they don't so much need the makeover (I like the general vibe). They do need to lift up the bar mats to see the thick layers of slime built up, then clean and fix all the ice bins and bar guns, then teach the staff how to keep them clean, nightly and thoroughly.
I'll stop back in when Tanqueray's management starts caring about cleanliness.
It's in a central spot and seems good for a couple of cocktails and some music after eating in downtown.
But only after the place has been de-gunked. read more