When I first realized that the *best* slice of Pizza in NYC, and perhaps the world, was in Queens... after spending years trawling through Brooklyn and Manhattan looking for it... I was a little angry. I was hurt. I was self-harming. I was purging. I was considering committing myself actually. I often am. But then, over time, I learned to see the "Funnyside."
What to get: Garlic Bread Pizza Slice
What else: All their slices are good, but get the one I just said, trust me
Why should we trust you: Umm...
Say something that makes us trust you: OK. Come with me if you want to live.
Oh! That's Arnie?: NEIN!
So will you buy us a slice?: NEIN!
How hot do you think you are, out of 10: NEIN!
And, how many inches do you like your nails to be?: NEIN!
Will you bite the hand that feeds you? Will you stay down on your knees?: NEIN!
Originally when I thought they just sold Pizza, they were my 2nd fave spot in NYC, behind Luigi's on 5th in Brooklyn. But when I found out they also sell eggs, I had to move "Sunnyside Up" to number one! Get it. Eggs. Sunnyside up. Never mind.
Seriously though, this is my *favourite* slice in New York City and one of my five *favourite pizzas* in the entire USA and I do not say that lightly because I f**king love pizza, and I f**king love NYC Pizza, and have probably tried well in excess of 200 of the top rated slices in the region.
Specifically, as mentioned, you need to get yourself the Garlic Bread Slice. I've tried others from here and while they were nommably nomtastic, they did not hold a candle to the Garlic Bread Slice. I can honestly say I've never tasted anything quite like it. It's thicker than most NY slices, and much wetter and juicier. The tomato sauce is rich and heavy. The cheese is used sparingly and that just makes it all the more enjoyable. The crisp crust is awash with a plethora of sesame seeds which wouldn't seem like something I'd want... until I bite into it and realize that I'm orgasmic in my foodpants.
As an aside: I used to side with Cher in terms of who the victim was. But now that he is gone (RIP), I can definitely see "Sonny's side."
And of course, best of all, there is the garlic. What the French call a certain "Garlique." What the Spaniards call "Garlicia." What the Italians call "Garliccimo." What the Germans call "NEIN! NEIN! DAS IST GUT YAAAA!" Oh wait that's what my German friend said in my bedroom last night. And what the Romanians call "oh my f***ing sh** it's Garlic get the f*** out of here we're gonna die, vampire brethren." Yep. Masses. And masses. Of f***ing garlic, people. F*** yes.
Now I'm not some guy that is obsessed with garlic (otherwise I wouldn't have so many boyfriends, I mean girlfriends, okay fine I mean both), but on this slice it works so well that it makes me dream of putting it in my mouth (yes still talking about the slice) for months and months on end.
I suppose compared to Astoria and Long Island City, some might say this neighborhood is on the "Slummy-side" but forget that. If you've been to Detroit, West Baltimore or East Buffalo lately, Queens Blvd is paradise. And this pizza slice? The word paradise does not do it justice.
How can a slice in Queens be the best slice in NYC? Don't ask me. It just is. I call them like I taste them. I find it hard to order just one slice when I'm here. No matter how full I am. In fact, if my German friends are with me, we order at least NEIN! YAAAAAA!
There are actually multiple facets to me. But if you only know me from my Yelp reviews, then you only know my "Punnyside."
So, in conclusion. Hit up Louie & Ernie's in the Bronx, try Bleecker St Pizza or Prince St Pizza in Manhattan, try Capri Pizza in Jersey, and go to Louie's on 5th ave in Broke-lyn. But if you want the most delicious slice of all... come to Queens and eat like a King. Garlic Bread Pizza. Sunnyside. I'm not fronting. I'm also not fronting you the money for it. But it's a very affordable place if that helps.
Speaking of which, you look fantastic from the front. But turn around, so I can check out your Bummyside.
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