Sputnik will always have a special place in my heart.
It's overrun with hipsters and smells like stale beer, and I mean that in the most endearing way possible.
And when I say overrun with hipsters, I mean HIP-sters. None of this half hippie, half librarian from the 70's nonsense, they are hipsters through and through. All the boys are required to grow beards, skinny jeans, and non-prescription coke bottle glasses. All the girls must sit at the noisy bar reading books, hoping to appear aloof.
You will never make a friend here. Well, at least I will never make a friend here. It's not that I haven't tried, I've sat at the bar many an evening, and have attempted to strike up a conversation with whoever is sitting next to me. SHOT DOWN. Every time.
I've been going to Sputnik for years, and have yet to learn the name of any of the bartenders or waitresses. I attempt to ask sometimes, when it's a slow afternoon, and the bartenders look bored, "Hey, what's your name, you've served me a million times, but I've never actually met you!" but all I get is the hipster freeze out. I'm convinced there's some sort of secret hipster points system for acts of aloofness. Ignoring someone who's talking directly at you, that's like, 56.7 points!
The waitresses are only slightly better, but you should expect to wait a while for your drinks and your food.
All this bitching aside, Sputnik is still one of my favorite hang-outs. The consequence of all the hipsters is amazing music playing ALL THE TIME, day or night. On the weekends they sometimes bring in guest DJs, and then the music is exceptional, really.
Also, the food is fantastic. And super cheap! It's not gourmet or anything, and you probably don't ever want to see the inside of the kitchen, but DAMN, they make a mean mac n' cheese. Also great: Vegetarian Arepas with queso blanco and guava jam, hearts of palm salad, and killer sweet potato fries. Ask about their crazy sauces.
PLUS! They have two, count em' TWO happy hours daily: one during the regular happy hour time, one late night. It's the perfect place to satisfy your late-night munchies!
It definitely gets crowded on weekend nights, especially if there's a show next door at the Hi-Dive, so I always suggest going for happy hour or brunch.
Just remember, you're there for the food and the tunes, not to lock eyes with your soul mate from across the room.
Finally, I leave you with this:
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it. read more