One of Simon Pearce's staple holiday creations is a glass polar bear. It is smooth, clear, and comes with a complimentary gift box. You pay $130 for the paperweight, but the box comes free. This may sound like a bad deal (it is), but this pairing is the perfect insight into Simon Pearce's restaurant.
A disclaimer: after spending some time watching the craftsmen at work I fully appreciate the value of a functional, handblown glass product, and am in no way saying that their glass is worthless--expensive, yes; worthless, no. The polar bear, on the other hand, is worthless. If I saw one at a stranger's house I would judge him. If I received it as a gift I would return it. If I couldn't return my glass bear I would give it to someone else--someone with expensive, but terrible taste.
This is the kind of decoration your obnoxious boss has on his desk: "nice, isn't it?" He indicates with a smug tilt of his head, "it's a Simon Pearce, you know."
The custom box, like the beautiful setting of the restaurant, exists to send a message: I contain something expensive, shiny, and worthless. I exist for status. If you woke up this morning thinking, "I'd like to spend a lot of money on something incredibly unsatisfying," then you know where to go.
My last (last as in not first, but also as in last) visit less than a week ago prompted me to write this review. The fish was cooked well, but was mostly flavorless. The cocktail was boring, the three desserts my party ordered borderline inedible, and the coffee was so bitter and contained so much sediment I would have returned it if I didn't want to leave. And then comes the vermont cheddar soup... oh god, the Vermont cheddar soup. For those of you who enjoyed the soup I can save you the 100 dollars you'll waste by returning for another meal: it's 80% heavy cream and 20% cheese. There. Go make it. It is sickeningly rich, cloyingly thick, and not worth putting in your mouth. Our waiter was obnoxious as well, but we'll leave him out of the equation out of fairness to the restaurant.
As other reviewers have commented, the restaurant is as carefully crafted as a glass polar bear. As most other reviewers have not mentioned: its food is just as underwhelming. A few high points of the meal were the tasty bread and the mulled apple cider; it wasn't all bad, but none of it was very good. The lesson here is this: a mediocre product in an expensive looking box is worse than the same quality in an appropriately priced package.
Definitely visit the glass blowers, but save your money and eat at any other restaurant in the area. read more