Some food tastes god awful and smelly
And some feels like sh** in your belly
But when in Lousy Annas
It would be bad manners
Not to get a burger from Roul's Deli
No, you won't see their ads on the telly
But other burger places are jelly
For there is nothing better,
Or juicier, or wetter,
That a Shrimp Burger here at Roul's Deli
Now it won't look as yum as Grace Kelly
But it's built like a damn Botticelli
And they never do skimp
On the big juicy shrimp
On the Shrimp Burger here at Roul's Deli
So.
The first rule of Roul's is, you order a Shrimp Burger.
The second rule of Roul's is, you order Shrimp Burger.
The third rule of Snowflake - if someone yells "stop!", goes shrmp, or taps out, the burger is finished.
Fourth rule: only two Shrimp Burgers per person.
Fifth rule: one Shrimp Burger at a time, fellas.
Sixth rule: the Burgers are Shrimp. Guys - No shirt, girls - no shoes, no thousand island crap.
Seventh rule: burgers will last as long as they have to.
And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Roul's, you have to order a Shrimp Burger.
It was a very very long time ago that I first brought Barbie here - and we're talking 11 or 12 years ago when she was just a little girl. We have both been in love with it ever since, as they have the most delicious huge greasy juicy succulent southern-style burgers, and when you get the shrimp burger they put a bunch of very generous juicy hearty grilled shrimp on top of it, and it just makes it even more amazing.
So. The Shrimp Burger is one of the greatest Burger inventions that I can think of or remember having eaten anywhere, and when I come to Baton Rouge, this is a must-try every single time - just as Verti Marte's Ernie's Powerhouse is in New Orleans, offering some of the best sandwiches in Crescent City.
So to me, despite its humble unassuming college roots and it's colourful and quirky LSU decor, this place is *the* standout food destination for Baton Rouge, my fave burger in Louisiana by far and one of the top 5 in the burger-rich South, and every single time we come to BR, coming here is exactly what I do.
I love every bite... every juicy delicious succulent bite. And I should mention that service here is very friendly too - it's for the college crowd, but it's still really nice and that is awesome. And the very tanned brunette girl working here, who we chatted with and was super fun and friendly, is definitely one of the most attractive Baton Rouge residents in history, in a town full of very attractive LSU people.
Good Rouls of thumb are: go to Baton Rouge, and get a Shrimp Burger.
So close all the malls, the shops and the SCHOOLS
Close the gas stations so nobody FUELS
No day at the races, no night at McCOOL'S
Because everyone's going for a burger at ROUL'S
Close all the gyms and close all the POOLS
Close down Alaska (they're all a bunch of JEWELS)
Close Fox News (they're all a bunch of TOOLS)
Cause we're all getting Shrimp Burgers at ROUL'S
Close down Xmas, it's just a bunch of YULES
Close the dermatology clinic (they cure POSTULES)
Close the sewage plant (after all it smells of STOOLS)
Cause we're getting Shrimp Burgers and we're all going to ROUL'S
Close the right wing media (they're government MULES)
Close the fitness center (I just burned a bunch of JOULES)
Close the movie theatre (they've run out of SPOOLS)
Cause there's only one burger I want right now: ROUL'S
Don't have any fights (there's no time for DUALS)
Don't ghost cute girls (or you're all a bunch of GHOULS)
Don't be that dude (that looks at Barbie and DROOLS)
Come and get a Shrimp Burger now at ROUL'S
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