My family ordered dinner from Ripple last night. Since Ripple took over the old JJ Madwell's building, we wanted to give them a fair shot. We try hard to support local businesses, especially here in Conifer where dining options are somewhat limited.
We ordered:
* a large pepperoni and jalapeño pizza,
* a small tossed salad,
* and four cheesy bread rolls.
Total cost: about $50.
The first surprise came when we were told it would take an hour to prepare the order. It was still fairly early in the day, so we assumed maybe they were crafting something extraordinary back there. You shouldn't rush a master chef, after all.
When we finally got the food home, the disappointment set in immediately.
The pizza looked... medically concerning. Pale. Almost white. It had the visual energy of a cafeteria tortilla with low self-esteem.
Then we noticed the toppings.
My wife actually poked at the pizza and said, "Maybe the toppings are under the cheese?"
They were not.
The pepperoni deserves special recognition because I have never seen pepperoni sliced this small or this thin in my life. These tiny little discs were maybe half an inch across. Ripple must have contacted the pepperoni manufacturer directly and said:
"I need pepperoni so tiny and so sparse that customers can technically call it a pepperoni pizza, while minimizing any risk of flavor."
Even with the microscopic dimensions, they still used them sparingly.
The jalapeños were equally scarce. A few lonely little fragments scattered across the surface like survivors of a great topping shortage.
The salad was okay, although it's admittedly difficult to sabotage a bowl of lettuce.
The cheesy bread rolls did, in fairness, contain both bread and cheese, so technically they fulfilled the contract.
Honestly, I believe most frozen supermarket pizzas would outperform this pizza in appearance and flavor, all at a fraction of the cost.
We genuinely wanted to like Ripple. We like supporting local restaurants. But too many places in Conifer seem to operate on the assumption that limited competition means they don't really have to try very hard.
So we did our duty. We tried it once.
But we won't be back. read more