Yo my name is Fox and I'm a strange Fella,
I eat pretty much anything but Salmonella,
F. Scott Fitzgerald's cool but I prefer Ella,
And Burning Man's nice but I'd rather do Coachella.
I went to the bank and there was a cute Teller,
I sweet-talked him into coming to my Cellar,
We role-played, I was Yoda, he was Helen Keller,
He showed me how to Windmill, I taught him to Propeller.
I said my diamond's so hard I make that Tiffany Jeller,
He said I make sausage disappear faster than Penn & Teller,
I said you make The Jam better than Paul Weller,
But is it really meant to be the colour of Nutella?
So then he was hungry, I was hungry as Wella,
(Please no comments on my skill as a Speller),
I said, there's this place where the Boba is Sweller,
And I took him for some Boba from the Bubble named HELLA
WHAT
And..
If girls of the world ain't nothin' but TROUBLE
Then ease your troubles with a trip to HELLA BUBBLE
Your life's in ruins, so crawl out of the RUBBLE
Single scoop of tapioca pearls? Get DOUBLE
If Boba is a telescope, this place is HUBBLE
There's nowhere better from here to HUMBLE
Not sure why I think Bubble rhymes with HUMBLE
I'll turn into Kendrick Lamar if I keep saying HUMBLE
By the way my last Yelp review went VIRAL
This could be the night that my dreams might let me know all the stars are CLOSER
Now can we please get back to rhyming HELLA BUBBLE
Boba's swelling my belly, but I still have to GUZZLE
Someone quick hurry now bring me a FUNNEL
I need a new belt cause I just burst my BUCKLE
I'll borrow one from the Bible Belt but they can keep the BIBLE
Now that I bashed on religion I'm in TROUBLE
And even more trouble cuz I already used TROUBLE
F*ck it, forget it, just go to HELLA BUBBLE
WHAT
Fred Flintstone came here once because he thought it said Hella Barney Rubble. Honestly the drinks here taste nothing like Rubble to me (although I'm not admitting to knowing what rubble tastes like). They do taste like Rubles... as in they're money, and as sexy as a Russian gymnast. Da.
Simply one of the best bubble tea shops to open up in the Houston area, which is one of the best bubble areas anywhere on the planet. I was not expecting anything great to pop up in the Galleria whatsoever, because I mean let's face it this isn't exactly a hot spot for Asian food, Asian drinks, or general international authenticity. Yet even if it were in Chinatown, HB would hold its own well.
I've always liked the owners, they're hella friendly, and their products are generally excellent. On most occasions that we've been here I've thoroughly enjoyed whatever products, and I miss the Creme Brulee they used to sell here which was one of my fave desserts.
Their milk teas are excellent and their fruit teas are top-notch and nothing ever tastes fake. Tease here taste homemade and strong, and with sweetness adjustment it's perfect.
They opened up a second location in the Heights, that's because of the excellent taste and wonderful ownership. It's a tiny space, but that just makes it like a kinda Boutique of Boba, which fits in really well with the very high-end shopping experience of Highland Village.
Not Hella Hubble (in space), Hella Rubble (Barney), Hella Stubble (if I don't shave), Hella Cuddle (girls, cats, and dogs love it), and Big Bubble In Little Hella (bad Kurt Russell movie).
Anyway I have other reviews to JUGGLE
And if I keep skipping sleep I'm gonna get UGGLE
Meanwhile Barbi just wants to SNUGGLE
I feel like Sean Paul with my DAILY STRUGGLE
(DAILY STRUGGLE!)
But first, rap!
Bella gave me my groove back just like Stella,
Tapioca so good it can be eaten Acapella,
Creme Brulee like Coldplay (it was all Yella),
The Boba is Hella Good here at Hella.
If it was in Brazil it would rule the Favela,
If my tummy is a cell then this Boba's the Flagella,
If Starbucks is a one-liner, this is a Novella,
This slice is "Taylor Lautner", not Edward or Bella.
I ran so fast to get here, I ruptured my Patella,
When I slipped in the rain and almost caught Rubella,
Until Rihanna let me stand under her Umbrella.
Ella Ella. Eh Eh Eh.
We went to the Pub and we shared a pint of Stella,
We Netflix & Chilled while we watched Barbarella,
We made out and listened to Michael Jackson's Thrella,
She showed me her Hopeless Place, I showed her my Goodfella.
I had her like Cabaret had Liza Minella,
I got repelled like Citronella when I ate her Paella,
But I chose not to tell her, that she smelled of Mortadella,
Cuz she looked like Cinderella and I ruled her like Mandela.
She said "I went to Harvard" so I showed her my Cornella,
Then I asked Ri Ri if she'd be my Abuela,
She said "that means Granny!" and tried to cap me like Old Yeller,
I ran away, but after days, I could still smell her...
So I wrote a tell-all book and it became a bestseller.
(But the straight-to-TV movie was less-than-stellar).
(Now come and get a Boba from the Bubble named Hella).
(And since you asked, I'm a grower *and* a shower *and* a sweller). read more