Words cannot begin to express my disappointment with Five Guys...but I'm going to try my best.
To begin, I love a good burger. There's nothing like biting into a fresh, juicy, tasty, well-constructed burger. Add some cheese to the mixture and I'm in like Flynt.
However, this is my THIRD time sampling Five Guys and it has been consistently over/under. Huh? Let me break it down for you:
Over-hyped and Over-rated.
Yes, President Obama enjoys Five Guys. So do many people (mainly on the East coast). The Zagat survey rates this place highly as well. So? So what?! What it boils down to is personal preference and this person simply doesn't prefer Five Guys. All the "best burger" ratings in the world couldn't convince me to like something that just isn't enjoyable. With all the hype surrounding this place, you would expect a burger that blows your mind, makes all other burgers in the world obsolete, and convinces you to pillage and plunder villages for a small taste of such a wondrous burger. Five Guys does not blow my mind. Not in the least. Thus, extremely OVERrated.
Under-seasoned and Underwhelming.
Each and every Five Guys burger I've eaten has been completely under-seasoned. If anything, every Five Guys burger I've tasted has been bland. This brings up another interesting point. Sure, a burger with mayo, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, ketchup, and mustard is going to taste pretty good. Adding relish, jalapenos, and A-1, BBQ, or hot sauce and you're good to go. You've got a lot of bases covered with all that extra stuff (sweet, salty, sour). BUT, if a burger is as good as many are claiming, shouldn't it taste just as good without all these toppings? Five Guys, I have tried your basic hamburger with lettuce, tomato, and onions and it is, well, disappointing. It simply doesn't stand on its own as a good burger. Just like with all your testimonials and awards, all the toppings in the world can't fool me into liking your burger.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - if you simply toasted your buns, you'd have a much better burger. A just-out-of-the-bag bun is dry, mealy, and falls apart easily. Toasting it softens it up and makes it more pliable, allowing it to withstand your kung-fu grip and shark-like teeth gnashing. Every Five Guys burger I've eaten has fallen apart about halfway through and disintegrated into a pile of burger guts in its foil wrapping. I want to enjoy my burger, not watch it fall to pieces as I eat it.
Quick solution: work on your presentation. Wrap your burgers in some paper (like In-N-Out, The Habit, and even Carl's Jr.) The foil is just not cutting it for me. Most of the workers mangle the burgers while wrapping them, smashing them in the process. Also, hand-formed burgers are nice and all, but they look like my three year-old made them. Take some pride in your burger, please?
Now, many people argue that the In-N-Out and Five Guys can't be compared. You know what, people? They both make burgers. Hence, one CAN compare burgers with burgers. It's not rocket science, y'all.
If Five Guys made a decent burger, I'd give them another chance. Maybe. For now, this Yelper's gonna spend his money elsewhere or just make a better burger at home. In the words of Public Enemy, "Don't believe the hype!" I strongly suggest you do the same. read more