How do you make a flavorless flan?
Ask the staff at Bistro Basque. But, let's start at the beginning...
Read the reviews, have friends who love it, thought it would be great for a Saturday night pre-Valentine's Day "date night" with my wife. Karma looked to be shining down on us - the only parking spot available on the street was literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE RESTAURANT. It doesn't get any better than that. Made it in, right on time at 6:30.
After a brief conversation to sort out the reservation, they seat us at a cute little two-spot in the hidden front right corner of the main dining room. Score! Or so we thought...
We picked out 4 tapas to share. I'd read that they were more appetizer-sized that tapas-sized, so that looked to be plenty of food. And it was. The waiter offered to bring them out two at a time. Sounded good to us. We ordered a glass of red sangria and one of white sangria - both very good.
The first two tapas, which arrived at the table about 15 minutes after we were seated, were the crab cakes and the cauliflower gratin with serrano ham. Both were fantastic. I can't imagine a better version of either one.
Then, we waited...
And waited...
And waited...
Thank god we still like having a conversation after having been married almost 9 years. Finally, one full hour after the first plates had been cleared, my wife and I decided to swivel in our chairs and stare at our waiter while he attended to another table. He got the hint, came over quickly, and said "I'll go hunt someone down in the kitchen to find out about your food." What??? You're blaming the kitchen? This one's on you, buddy. It's your responsibility to make sure that the kitchen sends out our food at acceptable intervals. I've worked in restaurants...I know how it's supposed to be. Whatever.
Less than 5 minutes later, the 3rd dish shows up, with the 4th not far behind. These were the piquillo peppers stuffed with duck and chorizo, and the lomo, which were like little open-faced sandwiches of pork, cheese, pepper and olives. Both were very good. Not quite as good as the first two, and not worth waiting more than an hour for, but definitely good. The plates are cleared, and my wife takes a powder.
While she's gone, the waiter drops by to ask "Are you ready for the check?" What??? Um, you serve dessert and coffee, and you're not asking me if I want any? So, I tell him that, no, what we'd like to do is see the dessert menu.
She returns, and then the dessert menus make an appearance. Except for the flan, which some people here had liked, nothing jumps out at us. I mean, rice pudding with fruit leather? Really? So chewy now pairs well with slightly chewy?? We settle on one flan, and tell him to bring the check with it. There was no telling how long it would take to get out of here without combining the requests.
A few minutes later, the flan arrives with the check. Looks nice - amber pool of caramel, firm flan, mint sprig. I take the first bite. Nothing. Have I finally blown out my taste buds? Did the tapas blow out my taste buds? My wife tells me to try the liquid caramel. It's like caramel flavored vitamin water. Water with a hint of something that may or may not remind you of caramel. I take a second bite. Now I'm sure. Completely flavorless. I ask her, fearing that I've lost it. Surprisingly, she agrees. Two dessert hounds agree to put their spoons down and let sleeping flans lie. I want to tell the waiter and have it removed from the bill. She worries about the fact that we don't have the supplies to hunker down for such a lengthy campaign. I'm insistent. She shrugs.
I tell the waiter about the tasteless flan. He says, and I swear to everything that I hold dear that this is true, "I'm not surprised. We have an apple dessert that doesn't taste like anything either." That splat was the sound of the kitchen staff being thrown under the bus. He offers us a replacement dessert or a drink, but we decline. He then says, hold your breath for this one, "I wish you'd told me before so that I could've taken it off your check." Wow. First, thanks for the guilt trip, buddy. Second, how can I tell you about how bad it is before you bring the check if you brought them both AT THE SAME TIME.
I tell him to take it off the check. He takes it off the check. We pay and leave. Car's still there - phew.
How to sum this one up: 4 star savory food and cozy ambiance, service 1-2 stars, desserts to be avoided. If you don't believe me, just ask your waiter. read more