If I brought my cats here, it'd be The Fleahouse. If the toilet overflows? The Peehouse. And when you bring your wife here, it's The Guess-what-she's-having-an-affair-with-Mehouse.
What to get: Lemon Honey Black Tea, Strawberry Black Tea, Lemongrass Over Ice.
What toppings: Aloe Vera plus Strawberry Hearts, Lychee Bears or Passion Fruit Dolphins.
What not to get: Student loans instead of Teahouse, homes. (We all would choose the latter)
If it was in your backyard, it'd be The Treehouse. If it were the kind of "sums" I like, it'd be The Threehouse. And if this review gets censored, blame The FCC-house.
If you gave this place a bad review, you had no rice to do what you did. This is a lovely location of the tea house. They are fairly new and much less busy than the one in Montrose. I'm a big fan.
Now that I've tried all of the different Teahouse locations I can say that this is one of the best. They're weird about serving right before closing, unlike Montrose - and they need more tables because so many are studying here, without buying drinks, and staying all day. But in terms of drink quality they are absolutely excellent. It's never watered down like so many of the Teahouse locations are. It is becoming my go-to for fruit drinks. At the Montrose location, quality depends who is working. At this location. It's perfect every time. It's just a shame that it's not as cozy and comfortable as the Montrose location and their famous couches, although the AC here is way better.
Teahouse is a godsend. This one is shiny and clean (unlike the older ones) with very friendly service, and excellent products. Their bathrooms are nice, unlike the Montrose location where they can be gross AF. That doesn't really bother me. It's fun reading what's written on the wall of the men's. (And women's wink wink).
If you steal your drinks, it's The Freehouse. If you make a deal with a DA to avoid jail? The Pleahouse. And if, like me, you like to get shaken all night long by both girls and boys? The AC/DC House.
So. The products.
Milk teas are meh. Smoothies okay. Honeydew is pretty good. Coffee and mocha and chocolate blended smoothies are delicious and excellent.
However, the real stars are the fruit teas. Especially if you get imaginative sinkers, which are absolutely delicious. Passion fruit dolphins, lychee agar bears, strawberry hearts. Boom. All three are so unique and divine, that I honestly think they are my main reason for coming here so often. And the lovely Aloe Vera.
If you come in late Nov it's The Turkeyhouse. If you send fake votes from overseas to get Trump elected? The Absenteehouse. And if you're the only ten I see? It's The Tennessee House.
The most original, unique, spectacular drink is the lemongrass. Get it over ice - not blended - with black tea (unless you prefer green, meh), Aloe Vera - plus one of the big 3 (bears, hearts, dolphins). Add some lime to it for extra slurps appeal.
I also highly recommend the Strawberry Black tea w/ Strawberry hearts & aloe. And the heavenly Lemon Honey Black Tea w/ aloe, plus bears, hearts or dolphins. These three drinks are such brilliant standouts, and that's why Teahouse is so high in my rankings.
If the greatest QB ever comes here, it's The Bradyhouse. If you're sadistic? The Marquishouse. And if you service too many ppl in the bathroom, you'll end up with The Sore-Kneehouse.
Fresh Grapefruit and Tropical Fruit Tea are good, too. Both made with fresh fruits. I'm not as much into them lately, but try the former.
If you stored your hives here? The Beehouse. If you sing acapella here? The Gleehouse. And if they showed TV from the UK (or were named after my girl's intimate preferences)? The BBChouse.
Service here is second to none, usually. They have a policy that if you don't like your drink, get a refund or replacement as long as it's at least half full. Nobody else does that - especially not over in Chinatown.
And if there's no we without you and I, it's The Jeremiihouse or The Ouihouse. And if you Ginuwine-ly love this tea? The Ponyhouse. If you're a midget who loves Mariah Carey? The Jermaineduprihouse. And if I met you in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine? The Darling Nikkihouse.
Rice Village has a surprising lack of top stuff because it's too pretentious. Yelp lies. Rice Vill, Galleria, Heights, Midtown, Downtown, and Montrose are not where you should eat in Houston. But this is a diamond in the hipster rough, along with Lankford, Petite Sweets, Zydeco, Hot Bagel Shop, Nara, Guadalupana, Les Giv.
Teahouse is my #1 place for fruit teas in the *world*, top 5 Boba in Texas (Cha Boba in League City, Tea Top Dun Huang, Pann Tea Katy, Sharetea Austin are the other 4).
If they sold fancy cheese, it'd be The Briehouse. If all that sugar makes you foam at the mouth and convulse? The Seizurehouse. And if you're a boy who thinks he is straight, and you read this review and fall in love with me, then you're now in The LGBThouse. read more