Sometimes restaurants provide you with meals. Sometimes they make you wish you were dead.
I went here with my children last Wednesday since they had off for Thanksgiving. I had heard that every Wednesday this Qdoba provides a half-price entree for students, so I figured I would get my children a cheap lunch. Priscilla is in first grade and little Baxter just started preschool--any sane person would call them students. They are in school for Pete's sake!
Anyway, I peeled the children out of bed at eleven in the morning, all the while their mother was shrieking at me that I hadn't bothered to invite her along. Because I was so desperate to get away from my wife's Thanksgiving stress-tantrum, I threw the kids still in their pajamas into the Plymouth with a pile of clothes, figuring they'd dress themselves while we drove to Towson.
Once we had gotten halfway there, Priscilla yelled from the trunk, "Daddy these are your clothes!"
That was when I realized that I had pulled the clothes out of MY laundry hamper and not the kids'. After a few quick curses I pulled over to the shoulder of the highway to come up with a plan. Gas is too expensive to turn around and drive back to the house, so I had to make those clothes work. Baxter had wet his bed the night before so pajamas were out of the question. That was when I remembered that I had a few dozen zip ties crammed in the glove box. So with the zip ties, I managed to fashion belts to hold my pants on them and used more to tie the cuffs of my shirts and pants around their wrists and ankles. They looked like they were wearing cotton parachutes, some MC Hammer nightmare, but I had no other choice.
Baxter thought the clothes were hilarious but Priscilla said they made her look stupid and threw a tantrum saying she wanted to wear her own clothes. There was nothing to be done. When we arrived at the restaurant, she was still screaming and crying and no matter how many times I told her she would not be quiet.
So we finally got to Qdoba and found it nearly deserted -- just a few groups of office workers and layabouts eating and ordering food. I still couldn't manage to get Priscilla quiet, but I dragged her up to the counter and ordered her some kind of burrito. To their credit, the staff honored Baxter's order of nothing but "lotsa cheese" for his burrito.
When we approached the cash register and I attempted to cash in our well-earned discount I was told that I needed valid student ID to claim my discount. What elementary or preschoolers carry their students IDs on them at all times? After several minutes of heated debate with the cashier, I demanded to see the manager. The manager Peter PLAYED sympathetic with me, but eventually said that it's "really just for Towson University students and the catholic high school across the street that lets its students leave for lunch."
Not to be deterred, I assured the manager that it was not over. I was a paying customer with two hungry children who deserved better. So I loaded the kids back in the minivan and drove to the Dollar Tree down the street on Joppa. I bought several cardboard placcards and sharpies and some makeshift sticks, duck tape and glue and made signs saying "QDOBA LIES" in an attempt to stage a boycott. By now the kids were getting pretty cranky so I bought them some doritos and mountain dew to hold them over. Priscilla spilled an obscene amount of the two-liter bottle I bought her all over my clothes which turned her from a court jester in baggy clothes into some aquatic horror.
With our new made signs we drove back to Qdoba and camped out by their front door. Others must have been angry too because almost nobody went in. I paced back and forth in silent protest outside the door. I tried to get the kids to join in, but Priscilla wouldn't stop whimpering about being cold and wet and Baxter just wanted to climb all over the patio furniture. After about 45 minutes the manager came out and warned us that he would "have the law eject us from the premises" if we refused to move. I thought I was calling their bluff, but I was mistaken...
THEY CALLED THE POLICE ON US! FOR PRACTICING OUR FIRST AMMENDMENT RIGHTS!
I will not go into detail about how rude Officer Grunwald was or how he made my children cry or how my rights were obstructed. Instead I will just leave everyone knowing that because Qdoba DOES NOT HONOR THEIR OWN PROMOTIONS that two CHILDREN went without lunch the day before thanksgiving! read more