This experience is ethereal
And more addictive than Kellogg's cereal
When you're in 716
And need your pizza fix
There is only one option: Imperial
They've renovated and then some. This is now a party spot. Bring all your friends. Get stuck in to some of the best pizza and wings in *America*. They should be on everyone's top 10 list for both. Come and taste why.
What to get: Cheese and Pep Pizza, Wings Medium X/Saucy
Tips?: Don't leave them in the sauce, they get soggy. Eat right away.
How did you discover this: Sorry, I can't reveal my sauces.
It's the original and it's still one of the best. It was the first Buffalo Pizza to truly blow my mind. One of the USA's very best.
Barbie said it's so good that it freaks her
And she raves to everyone that meets her
So if you're feeling lonely
Try grease-cup pepperoni
On a slice of Imperial Pizza
Detroit has similarly wonderful pizza to Buffalo. Chicago deep dish can be great (Art Of Pizza, CHI) and some NYC slices are amazing (Sunnyside, Bleecker St, Louie's on Baxter, Little Vincent's Huntington). But hands down, Imperial Pizza is WNY's best. If you don't enjoy this dreamy thick spongy dough with delicious rich salty tomato sauce and thick cheese with burned upturned pepperonis, you probably won't enjoy life.
To some Buffalo Pizza is an acquired taste, or a nightmare. Just make sure if you have a nightmare in Buffalo, it's about the Imperial Army, and if you want to acquire the taste, that Imperial is the pie you acquire.
If your thing is to be more into Artisan Pizza then you might not be crazy about this. But if you like the real thing - what Italian-American Pizza is all about - then this is a quintessential example of it, and the very best it gets. There really isn't a better slice. What's more their wings might be the best I've ever tasted.
In Buffalo, this pizza is King
And oh, wait, there is one other thing
If your life's full of tedium
Get extra saucy, Medium
For there is no better Chicken Wing
It never became a tourist wing destination, as it was always just a little hole in wall with nowhere to sit (except outside in summer). No longer. They've expanded massively with a huge lobby, alcohol, full sports bar, but with the same perfect food as ever. Hopefully they finally get the credit they deserve and become the destination for real Buffalo Pizza and wings, instead of that tourist sh**.
In a city that made the things famous
Anchor Bar and Duff's are not quite blameless
For tourists being disappointed
Until now, I've anointed
This the wing that makes all others aimless
In other news, I like to perform mime acts for the guys working here while I'm waiting. It's never gotten me laid (I'm hoping one of these days, especially with that Italian guy with the missing tooth), but with a name like "Improvisational Pizza" what do they expect? I'm not ashamed of a little improv.
Buffalo Pizza is something that those outside Buffalo either don't know about, or decide they don't like. It even gets a bad rap from some locals. It's an acquired taste. It's very doughy, very cheesy, and extraordinarily greasy. Imperial is a little less greasy than some, but if you want to try a "quintessential" and "top notch" version of Buffalo pizza, this is the one to try. This is the one I take out of towners to. Imperial really should be as famous as Lou Malnati's of Chicago or Bleecker St of NYC. Should be. But life isn't always what it should be.
In other news, I put a tiny ape-like creature on my roof, and now I get a perfect signal on my Television! I call him my "Imp Arial". OK, that was bad. How about, The Little Mermaid is dating a tiny ape-like creature? Imp/Arial? No? Doesn't quite have the same ring to it as Brangelina? Tomkat? They're getting divorced maybe? OK, never mind. On with the show.
Reasons why Imperial is the best in town:
(1) Taste. Wings/Pizza best in town - maybe USA.
(2) Price. Wings average. Pizza dirt cheap.
(3) Snack. They sell slices, quarter pies and half pies as well as full ones.
(4) Dough. So doughy, the way true Buffalo Pizza should be.
(Dat dough doe)
(5) Extra saucy means extra saucy. Never dry.
(Speaking of saucy)
If Kellogg's bought the rights to use this food in their breakfast brands, it'd be "In-cereal Pizza." Ew. Watch it be the next big thing.
Let's do some more.
(6) Sauce. Best, butteriest, in town.
(7) Family Owned.
(8) Late Night.
(9) Fresh. Will burn you.
(10) Well Made. Like your firstborn.
And now
(11) Huge lobby, plenty of places to sit, alcohol and sports bar atmosphere. For those who need all that sh**.
If it was super expensive but you still bought it because it's so good, it'd be "Immaterial Pizza."
They should call it "Arterial Pizza" because it is so heavy, it will clog you up. Especially the buttery naughty wing sauce. But welcome to Buffalo. It's what we do.
And if you sleep with me after we eat here, then I apologize in advance if you end up with anything along the lines of "Venereal Pizza." read more