I picked out a new pair of spectacles thanks to a groupon invite from our very own, very charming…read moreJudy K. (Hi Judy K. with concert-wave, and wagging tongue; I was in your hood last week girl). One day, out of the blue, she threw this little hot potato at me...
"Tony, get this groupon deal: $50 for $200!"
That was 6 months ago. I'm not always fast, but infrequently stupid. I arrived on the coupon's expiration day last weekend, hehe, better late than never, right?
I walked in, and was greeted by the manager. I decided to be funny. As I walked in, I handed him this paper and I asked him sarcastically, "Do you like Groupons?" He said...
"What took you so long!, over 300 people grabbed this deal already. They picked out all the best frames!" Shit! My sarcasm backfired! At this point, I felt like I drank spoiled chocolate milk!, like I ate soggy cereal, or bought an expired lottery ticket.
However, with an unrelenting nature, and a Massive $150 Groupon Credit, I asked him about his price range. Here's how that conversation went..
- Tony: "Which ones are the cheapest ones?"
- Mgmt: "They're color coded, the red ones are $.., the yellow ones are $.., and you shouldn't ask about all those fashionable unmarked ones over there..."
I walked in knowing what shape and color of frame I wanted; I was ready to walk out too. And?, on top of the groupon deal, I have a generous work vision plan to cover my frivolous expenditures ;-)
I sniffed & scoured the lands, and I finally found my little ladybug. She's clean, crisp, tight around the hedges, and she's sculpted with an upward tick! She's amazing..,
After I took off the demo glasses, I said. "Polarize it, and make it scratchproof for me (the works!), I'll pick it up whenever it's ready, no rush."
I popped in a week later, picked up the live version, slipped it on my face, looked in the mirror, and looked outside to polarize it.
I can see now!, and I look incredible!
Why?
Its the glasses; she's dangerous, this one here! Like the pet venus fly trap I had (which I fed white castle burgers), or... like when they talk, about how Jordan scored all those points, and won all those consecutive championships..., Why? "Its the shoes!"
I ran outside to play. I ran towards the sun to show off my newly polarized spectacles. I ran into burger king for a bag of their new thick cut fries, which, by the way, are phenomenal. And then..,
I ran back 3 hours later after I realized that the glasses didn't sit straight. They were crooked!
I looked closer, and saw that dreaded sticker, yes that one, Made in China. Argh!!!
..with much sadness. i discovered that it wasn't.., it wasn't the glasses.., or the country china, it's my face. my face is crooked. Shit!
.... (brief moment of silence)
surprisingly, he took it a lot harder than I did. Hearing him try to console me about my offset nose-bridge sounded like a doctor telling a patient about an in-operable tumor. I ended up having to console him, "It's okay (pat on his back), nobody's perfect."
After much consoling, a box of kleenex, and a bit of nip 'n tuck with the glasses, I left looking as clean and fit as ever.