I should start out by saying that we're not demanding gringo jerks who loudly pester waitstaff in English and get mad when it takes more than 5 seconds for someone to bring us water. Every person I dined with at this restaurant speaks good Spanish and is patient with or even prefers the slower pace of service in some countries - between the 4 of us we have lived in around 15 different countries for years at a stretch. We made a reservation for the restaurant at Encuentro Guadalupe based on reputation: many people in the Valle told us it was good. They had an opening at 8:30 and we were pleased to get it. We arrived and were seated. Then, we sat. For a really long time. It had been a long drive and we were all thirsty, but no one came. In reality it was probably only 15 minutes, but I went to the bar and asked if we could get water while we waited. The bartender said "sure" and then - and this is a crucial action that would define the rest of our evening at this place - continued to do nothing. No water, no nothing. Our waiter came and we thought it better to order everything at once since he told us the kitchen closed at 9. He took our drink and food orders and then vanished for another 20 minutes. At this point I should mention that they seemed busy, and indeed they mentioned later they had been busy that day. So, understandable why it was taking them so long to do some things. The waiter brought us our waters and wine. But he had forgotten one of the waters, so he left again... for another 15 minutes. He brought some appetizers, but neglected to bring any silverware. So he left again, for another 15 minutes. Two of us had ordered a carrot soup, which was served out of a sort of coffee carafe, and was stone cold. This was rectified, with the usual very very long wait. I had the grilled oysters, which had been grilled at some point in the distant past, and retained a nice grilled flavor but none of the heat that is usually the byproduct of having been cooked. What I'm trying to say is that they were cold. A deal of time later and our food arrived. One of us got the lamb sliders. One of them was cooked medium or so, and looked good, the other was burnt to a crisp and resembled a hockey puck in both flavor and looks. One of us ordered a beet salad which just turned out to be a mound of beets with dressing. One of us ordered the fish of the day which was excellent and cooked perfectly. I ordered the smoked quail gnocchi which contained few gnocchi, a lot of delicious garden tomatoes, and several pieces of delicious smoked quail which was completely cold in the middle, in contrast to the rest of my dish which contained the aforementioned gnocchi, which were hot, and the tomatoes, some of which were lukewarm and some of which were hot. When they brought all these entrees, they neglected yet again to bring us silverware, and the very long wait for these necessary implements of dining probably was a factor in some of the temperature issues we had. I asked to speak to the manager and explained the problem, told him that we just wanted the bill and to leave. That took a long time too. We go the check and put a credit card into the sleeve, and it. Just. Sat. There. For another epic period of time. So I took it up to the cashier. At this point I was pretty depressed: I'm on vacation, I love the Valle, and this place was making me think I had offended some Dining God. I put my head in my hands while waiting for the manager to run the card. In English he said "Hey, man, relax". Like I was stressing HIM out. I bit back a strong retort that would have probably been something along the lines of "I was relaxed before I wandered into this fortress of ineptitude, you arrogant jackhole." Finally, we left. We stiffed the waiter on the tip because he didn't deserve one. The manager explained that they removed my cold gnocchi from the bill - like he was doing me a HUGE favor. Throughout the process, the closest we ever came to an apology was an explanation that "we are really busy". At no point did anyone say anything like "oh hey sorry I brought you all this food to eat but no forks," or "oh hey sorry i brought you out waters but then stopped to chat at the bar with the other waiters who have been standing around doing nothing and also chatting at the bar while you sit and stare longingly at the water in my hand that, by the way, is going to be served to you at room temperature in the plastic bottle in this very elegant restaurant." I think you can give this place a miss (or if you do happen to end up there, maybe try burning it down?), given the massive amount of other amazing places to eat in the Valle de Guadalupe. read more