If you have ever felt the need to wonder if you have died and no one bothered to tell you, then you should go to Denny's because you will be treated like a fucking ghost. You will sit there for so long that you will begin to suspect that you are there only as some astral projection that no one can see because you haven't quite mastered your astral projection powers because you missed that episode of Charmed where Prue learned to use hers.
Just as you are about to attempt to call some mystic shaman to see if it is possible to reverse this horrible mistake of witchcraft, the manager arrives to see if anyone has come to take your drink order. The manager will take your drink order and assure you that she is going to send your server right over to take your order. Ten minutes later, you will realize that this was a lie and then begin to suspect that you are on some hidden camera show. It's at this point, you will begin wonder what your life will be like as the next Youtube sensation as the guy who picked his nose for five consecutive minutes in the middle of a Denny's, when you realize that only thing that is going to stop you from slowly starving to death is flagging down the manager again to see if your server has been sucked into a quantum singularity and been transported to another dimension where everything is backwards and the customers serve the waiters. Clearly he has not been because he has been diligently assisting the four tables surrounding you, including two that were seated after you.
The manager will be seemingly nice, while at the same time, making it clear that she has no time to take care of you, but she will take your order anyway. While she is doing this, she will explain that your server is really busy at the moment with a large party in the back that keeps changing their mind on their order and it's very frustrating. Because you have two legs of your own and smell the distinct aroma of bullshit, you will take a trip to the back to find no large party back there at all. Unless it is a party of actual ghosts, and then I feel that there should be some sort of disclaimer posted at the door that people are entering a haunted Denny's. Because you aren't equipped to communicate with the spirit world, having forgot your Ouija board at home.
Your meal will continue uninterrupted because your server will still have not made an appearance and the manager is far too busy for such trivial things as refills or making sure your order is actually correct, which it will not be, but at that point you're like "Fuck it, close enough."
You will not see another soul until you are about ready to throw your overcooked leftovers at someone and flag down the manager yet again to ask for the check. That will of course come promptly because they have all of a sudden remembered the rules of customer service. You will then discover that the manager was nice enough to not charge you for your drink, because, clearly, three dollars is the appropriate compensation for being served by the invisible man, or an apparition, or some other non-visible entity.
But on the plus side, you will save a couple of dollars because if you don't actually have a server, are you obligated to leave a tip? read more