Lured by the promise of a Southern delicacy, chicken and waffles, I climbed the treated 2x4 steps to the dark and languid hipster den. I had been to the bar before, and had no problems with the beer, patrons or bartenders, but this was my first foray into Captain Black's curious cuisine. When we approached the bar. the server was friendly and amicable. Placing our order was as simple as anywhere.
My friend and I ordered the Chicken and Waffles -$11 and the chef's salad -$5, or something....We got a few modestly priced draft beers and headed out to the balcony, basically the only part of the bar without an oppressive, cramped, and dank atmosphere. Of course, it was a sunny day in Seattle, so the deck was packed. Luckily we found a seat near the rear.
After about 10 minutes, our food arrived. The boy, with pierced nose, striped shirt, and the "God please get me out of here, I am not willing to put ANY effort into this job today" attitude, tossed our plates onto the table. "Forks over there." Mumbling and refusing to make eye contact, he waggled his head in a nondescript direction. He proceeded to chat and laugh with some other patrons who were obviously his friends, while my friend and I gathered the required utensils as our food cooled in the evening air.
Now, looking at our food with the actual intent of eating it, I was struck with the sort of sinking feeling you get when you realize you're being dumped. My eleven dollar "Chicken and Waffles" consisted of exactly one waffle, which, judging from the baked saltine dryness of it, must have been cooked several hours earlier and reheated, broken in half. I believe it had some nutmeg on it, and the syrup was a standard affair. Now the chicken...the fried chicken broke my heart. I should have placed more value on the description in the menu "Two pieces of AIRLINE chicken." Here I was, assuming "airline" referred to the preparation of the chicken, when REALLY it was an allusion to the abysmal quality and questionable safety of the meat. I took a deep breath, cracked off a bite sized piece of waffle, and scraped off a hunk of chicken with my fork. I dipped the morsel into the lukewarm syrup, and put it into my mouth. An odd crunching, squishing sensation, accompanied with the bland taste of cardboard, chicken breast, and the syrupy sweetness of syrup, lulled my tongue to numbness.
My dreams had been crushed. I had been looking forward to this for weeks, and here I was, mouth run dry with dehydrated waffle, facing my future embarrassment. I had told my scoffing friends "No Chicken and Waffles does NOT sound weird! It sounds absolutely delicious you fools!" and now was forced to face the error of my ways: Chicken and Waffles at Captain Black's was not only disgusting, but entirely too expensive. For $11 I expect a certain quality and/or quantity of chicken and/or waffles. I received neither.
This is not to mention the embarrassing salad of limp arugula and mealy tomato which we ate morosely.
TLDR: Captain Black's has good beer, and abysmal, expensive and soul crushing food. Service is as minimal as possible. read more