Rocky's is the rare place that I decided to wait until my second visit to review, and I'm glad I…read moredid. I've been hearing about Rocky's for years from my dad, who loves him some buffet. He is pretty indiscriminate in his tastes, and my mom rolls her eyes just about every time the subject of Rocky's comes up. But buffets are one of dad's passions, and Rocky's his is second favorite (to give a sense of scale, his favorite is that cooked by the high school kids at Beattie Tech).
I bet my dad will hear about this if Rocky reads this. Rocky, if you are reading this, be patient, the story will get better as it goes! During this first visit, I just didn't have the heart to write a review or the gumption to take any pictures. I mean, who takes pictures of the Rocky's buffet? The place is scattered with a handful of diehard locals and regulars. There are no tourists, city folk, or young Yelpers up in the buffet's business taking pictures.
I started with salad, scraping up the last few bits of spinach, but mostly iceberg; very few toppings, croutons, baby carrots. There was a house dressing and a bottle sitting out. There were some cheap dinner rolls like you get for 99c at Shop-n-Save, rectangular pulls aparts. Oddly, there was a buffet pan with two flavors of potato chips. I have a soft spot for chips but unfortunately they were starting to get soft. There was chicken and a bunch of non-descript American meats, gnoochi in a simple red sauce, kielbasa, Normandy vegetables (the frozen blend of broccoli, carrots, & cauliflower). There were tater tots that were a little soggy, not crisp.
My other half &I had been having a bad day, and we found ourselves being inexplicably revived by this awful buffet. We were baffled. We both felt comforted. Somehow.
When I started eating the tater tots, I commented that I hadn't eaten them since I was a kid. My other half replied that he hadn't eaten them since he'd had them in the school cafeteria. Then we looked at each other and had our Ah Ha moment: this was school cafeteria food! This is why even though we were eating stuff we hadn't eaten in many years, and wouldn't normally choose or even crave, we were enjoying it and were comforted. For both of us, raised in different areas, it mirrored the food of our childhoods.
This is why I didn't review the first time: how do you quantify an experience like that? That by our normal measures, would get a scathing one star (even though we went in with low expectations) but for a constellation of swirling reasons, was exactly what we needed that day?
I shouldn't have worried. Dad, having been successful in getting the kids to Rocky's once, was on a mission for a repeat visit. He got the schedule of buffet themes, and of Italian, German, and Polish, we picked Polish food.
So the family trip to Rocky's Polish buffet was scheduled two weeks in advance. My parents said that in the past Rocky's mom, whom they call Mama, made the pierogies. They had heard she hadn't been well, so we were prepared for Mrs. T's (but my opinion was that even Mrs. T's would be better than the cheap knock-offs that my parents buy in plastic bags). My parents were excited when Mama greeted us at the door, but dissapointed when the pierogies were perfect half circles. But hey, these pierogies were great, and they were so good, I at them for dessert. (Probably has to do with the fact that when I eat pierogies at home I boil them with kale. Mama on the other hand served them as they should, with onions and butter). They were too the moon awesome.
The other stand-out dish was the sarma/golumpki/stuffed cabbage. Neither other half nor I are big meat eaters, but these were tasty golumpkis. The meat was moist and flavorful, the cabbage was tender, and there was plenty of red sauce. There was also halushki, kielbasa, and baked ziti. For dessert I had strawberries. The Polish buffet was an all-around satisfying experience. This folks, is a genuine slice of Pittsburgh worth trekking to. It's not high cuisine but if you can't handle how the hipsters have taken over Lawrenceville, head out to Shaler, where they haven't made any inroads at Rocky's.
