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    Absurd Conclave

    4.3 (4 reviews)
    Closed 12:00 pm - 9:00 PM

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    Brooklyn Winery - McCarren Mimosa

    Brooklyn Winery

    (333 reviews)

    $$

    Greenpoint

    Went here for the first time the food was delicious didn't get a chance to take photos of the…read morebefore y the food was so good but I managed. The service was great and very nice and clean establishment. I will definitely come back again. The food was amazing as well as the wine

    I hosted a joint birthday party here yesterday for 15 people. I booked the "chefs call" option…read morewhich is a wine and food pairing. After having a tough time scheduling via email, I was put in touch with the manager, Jordan, who was helpful! We had 3 people in our group who wanted non-alcoholic wine pairings (two sober people and one pregnant person) and we were told they would accommodate us. I also informed Jordan of the allergies in our group. One person was dairy/gluten free, and two others had shellfish allergies. She assured me this would be no issue. We arrived on time yesterday, and everything went downhill from there. First, our waiter seemed to hate us from the very start. He introduced himself, asked who the birthday people were (and then didn't say happy birthday), and then said all of us would be having non-alcoholic drinks. When we said that only 3 people wouldn't be drinking, and the rest of us were going to (hopefully) be consuming regular wine, he rolled his eyes and told us "that's the note he received." Then, a woman came from behind the bar and said she would help us for now but "she's really supposed to be behind the bar." Every single time the waiter came to our table, he asked us who was drinking alcoholic drinks and who was drinking non-alcoholic drinks. He couldn't remember the 3 N.A. people after 6 or so courses and pairings. We were one of two tables in the entire restaurant. Singling out sober people consistently for 3.5 hours is....a choice. The first wine pour occurred and several people at the table were skipped. When we asked for those people to get their pours, the waiter inspected their glasses to ensure that they hadn't already been poured and wanted more wine. You mess up and were accused of trying to sneakily get more? Offensive and awkward. Our first course came out 20 minutes after our wine. It was a really nice charcuterie board with an assortment of cheese, jam, honey, and meat. It was beautiful (and the best part of the entire experience), however, because it was one large board and not a few smaller boards, we actually had to stand up and bring the board from one side of the table to the other in order to share. Bizarre. What is even more bizarre is that it came with no crackers. 25 minutes after the cheese and meat was served, we received crostini which was good, but 25 minutes too late. Our next course was more bread with cheese. Then, marinated mushrooms in an endive cup. Then, a salad. Not clear why the salad came 4th and my guests started to grow concerned (as did I) that we would never get a hot food course. While the courses and wine were served, NEVER ONCE did anyone tell us what wine we were drinking or why they paired the wine with the course. Additionally, when we asked what course was coming next or how many were left, no one knew the answer. At this point, we had been there 3 hours and wanted to leave. My guests were literally planning where to go out to eat after this so they could feel full. We asked what was coming next and if we could potentially speed up the service, they told us again that they didn't know. Finally, hard roast beef sandwiches came out along with chicken bites that allowed each guest to have a single bite. One waiter told us they were buffalo bites, another told us they were soy glazed. I think they were soy glazed? I guess I'll never know. They were dry with no dipping sauce. IMPORTANTLY, when serving the chicken bites to our gluten free guest, the waiter told her they were gluten free because "the fryer they use is so hot it burned the gluten off." When she politely said that's not how it works, he rolled his eyes and walked away. It's a MIRACLE no one in our group was served something they were allergic too. I guess it's a good thing much of the food never came. Desperate to leave, we asked them to give us back our dessert we brought (cupcakes) and to get us the check. At this point, I was fighting tears. I was embarrassed that my entire party seemingly had a bad time and that we were being treated so poorly. The hostess seemed to recognize how upset I was (despite me trying to hold it in) and offered us an ADDITIONAL COURSE. I told her thank you, but we cannot spend another hour and a half waiting for it (we left before the last course, I have no idea what it would have been or how much longer we would have to stay for two more courses). They ended up giving us $100 off which was a nice gesture but truly insufficient to remedy what was a really embarrassing experience. Gratuity of 20% was mandated despite the unacceptable service and I didn't fight it. I just wanted to get out of there. I toured this place as a potential wedding venue for my upcoming wedding and was very close to booking it. I'm grateful to have had this experience to easily rule it out. TLDR - This place is not equipped to handle a large party or any party at all. The staff needs immense training or someone could be seriously injured.

    Absurd Conclave - venues - Updated May 2026

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