A family friend of ours owns a bakery, and he told us that this shop was his little secret. Since I…read morelove baking myself and am Japanese, I was excited to discover a place where I could find ingredients that are not always easy to get.
On my last visit, I had to bring my two young children with me: my 1-year-old daughter and my 3-year-old son. I usually try to shop without them, but that day, I had no other choice.
I was doing my best to keep them from touching anything, constantly reminding them to calm down and stay close to me. I am not the kind of mother who simply lets her children run wild and ignores their behavior. I was trying my best to manage them while getting my shopping done as quickly as possible.
Of course, I understand that they are still very young. Anyone who has raised toddlers knows that, no matter how much you remind them to behave, keeping children this age perfectly still and quiet is not always easy.
Usually, the staff at this shop approach customers to ask if they need any help, which I have always appreciated. I actually enjoy talking with the staff because I often learn something new from them.
But this time, a staff member approached me and said, "Can you stop your kids from running?"
I was honestly taken aback.
It wasn't the fact that she asked me to stop them. I understand that this is a private, quiet shop, and I respect that. It was the way she approached me. There was no smile, no warmth, and no attempt to speak to me kindly. She simply looked annoyed.
In that moment, I didn't feel like a customer who needed a little help managing her children. I felt like someone who was no longer welcome.
At other beautiful businesses I have visited, people often smile at my children or make a small effort to engage with them. Those little gestures make such a difference to a mother who is already trying her best to keep everything under control.
Instead, I felt embarrassed, guilty, and uncomfortable. I hadn't even finished my shopping, but I decided to leave.
At the checkout, another staff member asked me, as they usually do, "Did you find everything you were looking for?"
I replied, "I'll come back without the kids next time."
Her response was simply, "Okay," accompanied by an eye roll, without even looking at me.
That moment made me feel even more unwelcome.
I want to be clear: I am not saying that children should be allowed to run around freely in every store. I am not expecting businesses to accommodate every family, and I am not trying to justify my children's behavior. I know that parents have a responsibility to teach their children how to behave in public, and I was actively trying to do exactly that.
I also understand that this is a quiet, private shopping environment. However, there are no shopping carts or other facilities that make it easier to shop with young children, so I can see how this might not be the most child-friendly place. Perhaps it is simply better suited to customers who can shop without little ones or whose children are old enough to stay still.
And that's okay. Not every business has to be child-friendly.
But there is a difference between a place that isn't designed for children and a place that makes a mother feel unwelcome.
What hurt me most wasn't being asked to stop my children from running. It was the lack of kindness in the way I was approached, especially when I was already doing my best.
Motherhood is not always graceful. Sometimes you are trying to shop, keep two little humans safe, teach them boundaries, and make sure they aren't disturbing anyone, all at the same time. It can be exhausting, even when you are doing everything you can.
A little patience or a kind approach would have made all the difference.
I left feeling as though I had done something terribly wrong, when all I was trying to do was shop while taking care of my children.
This is simply my personal experience. I respect the shop's atmosphere and its right to maintain a quiet environment, but I wish the staff had shown a little more consideration in how they communicated with me.
I may return on my own one day, but I won't forget how I felt during this visit.
