When I woke up this morning, I would have never imagined that I would learn what I did today.
Hello, my name is Michele and I am a masochist. This is my story.
You see...I've ventured to this Whataburger four other times. I say ventured but it's like a mile away from my home. Now, the reason I know it's four times is because it's fairly new and the worst Whatsburger in the history of Whataburgers...that I assure you. But each and every time, the experience much worse. So usually when you're ready to shank someone with a to go knife, you remember these things. So legit this is my fifth time to pull-your-hair-our-of-your-head-land. And there will absolutely never be a 6th - unless it happens to be the last standing place to eat.
I pull up with my dogs and my youngest son into the drive-thru line. It's pretty busy as usual.
*Ten minutes go by, we don't move. I'm trapped, so there's no going back from here. My frenchie wouldn't let me anyway...he knows there's a cheeseburger at the end of the rainbow.
*Finally put in order after 25 minutes- whataburger man does the dreaded "is that all" after every freaking item
*35 minutes - I approach the first window to hell. He repeats the order. Me: "that's not correct" Harry Potter looking dude: "huh?" Me: "it's supposed to be onion rings, not fries on the chicken sandwich combo" HP: "so you want onion rings, but no fries" Me: "Affirmative" HP: "huh?" Me: "that is correct"
*Blonde Harry Potter tells Co-worker of the change, she then tells another. Looks like the message is read loud and clear!
*45 minutes- finally the second window to hell. "Do you want any ketchup?" "Spicy and Ranch pretty please" - it is in fact a sin to not have ranch with your rings. She hooks it up with only one...whatevs...free pass.
Now...I'm borderline obese so you know I can't wait till I get home to pull one out. Also, my son needs his fries! We did in fact wait over 45 minutes for this gourmet sensation.
WHAT IN THE FLYING...(you get it)
My onion rings - non existent.
Everything FREEZING cold - and you knowwww that cold fried food is BARF.
I pulled to the side. Normally I would say every bad word in the book and peel out screaming...but baby boy was hungry, Lenny the frenchie was salivating, and I was feeling extra.
They were about to get a WhataSLAP.
**whips out cell**
*ring ring*
* 'Whataburger Prosper'
* 'Yeah, hi. I just literally left the drive-thru a few seconds ago after waiting 45 minutes FOR FREEZING COLD FOOD AND NO ONION RINGS.'
*'Ok so where are you in the drive-thru'
*'I'm not in the drive-thru. I'm at the side door in a Range Rover' (ya I know, I'm super fancy)
*'Ok I will be right out'
*Super cheery woman skips outside (We don't do that here, Susan)
*'Here ya go!'
* 'WTF is going on in this place?'
* 'We are just really busy'
* Eye Roll, Eye Roll (me) 'ok, thanks'
I start driving. We now have an hour invested in this B. I slide my hand down the bag ever so gently.
WHAT IN THE FLYING....(you get it)
1. Freezing cold small onion rings (ordered large because I'm large)
2. Nothing else
I'm home now. And after some meditating, there was a revelation, and so this experience came with something positive. And after 5 failed visits, I now know that I am in fact a masochist. And I'm the only one to blame.
And not the fun 50 shades kind... read more
