How's this for high praise from a New Yorker? I walk an entire subway stop out of my way just to get my coffee here on my morning commute.
Revolutionary! Unheard of! The quintessential tale of love and triumph in a jaded modern age of failing neighborhood businesses driven by narcissistic Yupsters and post-cubicle capitalism in a New Brooklyn that's too expensive for humans who don't make vintage sawhorses out of reclaimed driftwood to sell on Etsy.
"Relax," you're thinking, "it's just coffee" And "that sounds like the sort of thing a Yupster would say, thinking he wasn't one himself."
First of all, guilty as charged. I'm the worst.
B, I'm just kidding around - I love this new Brooklyn even if I feel mildly guilty giving my patronage to a place like this and not the old barber shop down the street that's been here since the 1970's. Listen, this Jew-fro took me 20+ years to tame so I could stop feeling self-conscious about my body, and I'm not about to sacrifice my dashing good looks for the sake of supporting my community. What kind of 20-something do you take me for? I live in Williamsburg and commute to Manhattan for my "creative professional" job, for heaven's sake! At least I FEEL guilty. That's how I can still pretend to give a shit to let myself off the hook for this sordid love affair I have with my own ego. But I digress.
Thirdly, this place has all the positives of Hipsterdom (cool music, cool people, chill vibe, killer beans) but none of the negatives (holier-than-thou hipness, antipathy to the unhip, requisite sleeve tattoos).
I mean, I don't even have a sleeve tattoo. Twice, I've been told I should get one while getting hit on, once by a girl and once by a guy. "You're really cute," they said in their turn, "but you'd look even better with a sleeve tattoo." That happened on two separate occasions in totally separate friend circles. They used the exact same wording, which made me think there had been a big meeting about me that everyone attended except me. But isn't that how everyone feels all the time? I can't be the only one this crazy. Can I?
And D, I have a crush on everyone who works here. Don't tell; I'm still trying to play it cool two years after I started going here every single day.
Look, there are a lot of words here, and my signal-to-noise ratio is rapidly dropping as I vapidly spew my stream of consciousness into this review, so I'm going to be serious for a moment.
This coffee is really good. Crazy-good. And while, on the surface, this place might come off as a hilarious Portlandia-like caricature of the quintessentially hip coffee destination, this impression would be a tragic one to take with you.
The people who work here are really sweet... and yes, quite hip... but they're not judging you. And they really seem to have a good time. You're not going to get all the smiles in the world when the line builds up and they have to rush to get everyone their brew in the AM, but this is a place you can come for a quick cup or to spend the whole day. To the reviewers that claimed poor service: that's unfortunate, but the people working here are humans, too. Sorry, shit happens. And are you sure you didn't walk in with your standard subway-riding New York scowl and merely receive your own emotional state projected back onto you?
I know, it's just coffee. There are more important things in the world. But this is a place where you can recognize everyone's faces. That's not all that common in the big city. We don't have to be so jaded all the time. Give love a chance.
Variety has free wifi and power, although you occasionally have to turn your wifi off and back on to regain a connection. Cash only. Tip them, please. There's plenty of seating, but if you're late you might have to wait. People are nice to each other here, so you can ask to share a table with someone. They'll move their stuff to accommodate you. You can work quietly alone, chat up some strangers, have a little business meeting, or banter on the phone. As long as you respect the people around you, you're entitled to just do your thing here.
And yes, you can take out your new iPhone5, load up Shazam, and discover the names of all the bands they're playing so you can look cool to your friends. That's what I do. It's true, you're only going to see the glow of Macbooks here. Shut up and quit pretending you're not one of us. read more