The best houses are made of BRICKS
The best way to break bones is with STICKS
The best team at MSG is New York KNICKS
And the best drinks in Houston are at TEAFIX
I like to watch Chris Nolans more than KUBRICKS
And I like all Barbi's shoes and LIPSTICKS
And when I see Barbi, my eyes TRANSFIX
But what we love most are the drinks at TEAFIX
The best Motley Crue WAG is that of Nikki SIXX
The best Roboto was sung by STYX
The best Foster People song is Pumped Up KICKS
But the best Viet Coffee is at TEAFIX
I moved away from England cause they're all PR**KS
And in the winter time I get a cold and need VIC'S
But I like Girls Aloud and I like LITTLE MIX
And we like go and get drinks from TEAFIX
The best way to eat noodles is CHOPSTICKS
The best way to monetize is by getting CLICKS
The best way to get cash fast is turning TRICKS
And the best Cafe Sua Da's at TEAFIX
The best way to please Barbi's lots of D**KS
Another way to her heart is lots of LICKS
She's not into dudes though, we prefers CHICKS
But what we really love is our f**king TEAFIX
WHAT
Just when I thought I had tried all of the greatest Boba shops, my friend insisted I come here, and I'm not going to lie. It changed my life, and forgive the expression, changed the game for us. Rocked our world. I'll never find Viet Coffee this good again, or Panna Cotta even nearly as good as the Coffee Panna Cotta here.
We don't just get 1 or 2 drinks when we come here - we get ThreeFix. In fact, I drink so much when I'm here, it makes me need to PeeFix.
What to get: Coffee Milk Tea or Signature Coffee w Coffee Foam and Coffee Panna Cotta.
And: All milk teas are great, fruit drinks are amazing. Yuzu slush is heavenly.
Also: I once got myself into a "Fix" and the owners of TeaFix helped me out of it. They're more than just the best brewers of Coffee and Boba in Texas. They're very good people.
It's not just the Cafe Sua Da, either. Every drink is sensational. The employees are awesome, especially owner Nicole, her very helpful loyal hubby, and Nicole's adorable sister, and the girl with the colourful hair, and of course my dear friend Phuong who works Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. She's one of the best Boba employees of all time, we love her so much!
It's not cheap, but most of the best things in life are not FreeFix. And believe me, this coffee is one of the best things in life.
The drinks use premium, rare ingredients imported from the corners of the world, especially things from Vietnam that you can't get elsewhere, which makes it uniquely mesmerizing. There is nothing like the coffee here, and the coffee milk tea, which uses the same incredible coffee.
Tea Fix. It's magical. This coffee. Darker, thicker, stronger, and truly, inexplicably mystical. Everything is magnificent, including all of their fruit drinks, Barbi is a huge fan. It's probably the #1 place I'd send you for drinks in all of Texas. Not cheap, but it's worth it. It's much like Barbi in that regard.
The drinks turn Barbi on, so after she gets her TeaFix, she wants her MeFix.
We will probably be coming here for many many years to come. The decor is wonderful too. It may be our fave Boba shop in the world.
Here, you'll find some of the best coffee you'll taste in your life, extremely extraordinary special. Every sip is nothing short of delicious. Products and service so good! So good, it should be illegal, and I should get arrested for drinking it. I'd admit the charges, "but judge, taste the coffee, you'd have done it too. I'm Guil-TyFix, and I'm not changing my PleaFix."
If you only try one drink in Houston, this is it. It checks all the boxes, as the kids say these days. We love it passionately and with reckless abandon. Changed my life for the better.
Got to go, Barbi is asking me to come into the bedroom so she can get her DFix.
And now it's time to rap:
If you're Dr. Watson, it's ELEMENTARY FIX
If you have 2 lovers, wanna make it THREE FIX?
If the bathroom's empty, I need to PEE FIX
And if you need a fruit drink, come and try TEAFIX
If you're on Kayak, I'm TRAVELOCITY FIX
If you're Siouxsie Sioux, I'm the BANSHEE FIX
If you're the Titanic, I'll be the DEBRIS FIX
If you like Sade, call me the MARQUIS FIX
Running for election? I'm the ABSENTEE FIX
If you're in Somalia, I'm the DJIBOUTI FIX
If you're Pam Anderson, I'm the TOMMY LEE FIX
If I'm a Spice Girl, you're the WANNABE FIX
Are you from Nashville cuz you're the only TEN I SEE FIX
Or Dallas? You can do me like you did DEBBIE FIX
If you're Macauley in My Girl, I'm the BEE FIX
So float like a butterfly down to TEAFIX
You're Man City, I'm the BRIBED REFEREE FIX
You're Charlie Brown, I'm the SNOOPY FIX
I'm JWoww, so you're the SNOOKI FIX
Or if I'm your husband, you're my TROPHY FIX
If this review's censored you can blame the FCC FIX
Wanna see a Wonka, I'll show you a WILLY FIX
Right before we come here, Barbi gets her D FIX
Then I spoil her with the world's best Coffee drinks at TEAFIX
WHAT!