Having spent more than my fair share of time in southern Indiana, it was inevitable that I would get around to reviewing The Schnitzelbank, heretofore referred to as "The Schnitz" going forward. With an establishment as revered as this one, and with literal decades of business to its name, a lot of folks might assume this business would be content to coast on its reputation. That would could not be further from the truth as, after all these years, The Schnitz continues to be a vital destination for anyone looking for German cuisine, hospitable staff and a beer selection that makes some of the pubs we have in Texas look small by comparison.
The Schnitz walks a fine line between "tourist trap" and "local watering hole." Sure, they have a goofy cardboard cutout in front for photo opportunities whenever you have had one too many beers, and yeah, the gift shop off the entrance is kitschy beyond belief (it's a toss-up between the felt Tyrolean hat and the chicken hat with dangling legs for what may be the guiltiest pleasure of headwear one can purchase) but do not let those first impressions deter you. Once inside the bar or dining room, the touristy stuff is pushed aside in favor of favorable service and an expansive food and drink menu.
Friday night, my Dad and I stopped in for a beer. Or multiple beers, really. The dining room closes at 10:00 p.m., but the bar kind of operates on a "we close whenever the last person leaves" type of schedule. Sure, if some nights are slower than others, they'll close early, but we saw a wide variety of signs of life when we walked in. We sat down and Jackie, the bar manager, was over in seconds to wait on us. And there are not enough positive words for Jackie: she was like that family member you forgot you had but immediately wished you kept in touch with. She was quick with the wit and even quicker with the service - I asked if they had any Belgian ales and she rattled off a few I had no idea existed! And when one foamed up too quick for what would pass for normal human consumption, she was back with a replacement brew in seconds flat. The cast of regulars here all know the staff, and Jackie knows all of them. If you're stopping in for a drink at night, I cannot recommend this place enough, if only for the service and hospitality of Jackie and her team. Also, the 107 or 170 beers on offer help - I do not remember how many exactly they have but I know it's 100-something and there was a 7 in the total at one point. If they could get Maredsous 8 or Trois Pistoles on the menu, they would be unstoppable. The fact that they willfully have Xingu, when bars in Texas even have a hard time getting that one, is pretty doggone amazing.
Then came Saturday night after we broke free from our mini family reunion/Kentucky Derby party/exercise in insanity. We stopped by here for dinner and opted to sit in the bar (at a table this time). The place was hopping and we seemed to have a tag team of waitresses helping us out. I want to say one was Judy, and the other was Wonder Woman Part Two. These two gals helped each other out and ensured none of the dozens of patrons in the bar were going without their food or drink for long. And they did it with smiles and senses of humor! Two more points for the staff, and even more points for the beer menu broken down by country. Hello, beer from Slovakia.
Unfortunately, those points did not translate entirely to the food. While the menu is unintentionally hilarious (my favorite item descriptions being "Its Grandma again" for the "Half Livers & Half Gizzards," and "Made in our kitchen from a machine imported from Germany" for "Spatzle"), the food can be hit or miss. Escargot-stuff mushrooms take two wonderful items and mash them up in a largely forgettable appetizer, while lemon pie on the opposite end of the spectrum is tart without the taste. Fortunately, the well-regarded salad bar is completely worthy of the hype it receives, their fried chicken is mouth-wateringly succulent and that Schnitzelburger was so good, I almost took off a few of my fingers on accident while shoveling it into my mouth. Add in the lyrics done in rebus form of the titular song painted on the wall, and a trio of TV sets tuned to sporting events, not to mention the regular locals and out-of-towners crowding into the bar, and this is definitely a hot spot for nighttime dining and drinking in town.
The Schnitz has stood the test of time through a blending of genuinely wonderful service, German authenticity, a menu that is not afraid to take chances, food for customers also not afraid to take chances, and a touristy angle that serves the southern Indiana corridor well. It's definitely worth experiencing at least once but do not be surprised if you find yourself back on more than a couple occasions. read more