My thoughts have been compiling for three days and I think I'm finally ready to share them…read more
This was a completely last-minute decision. Like, "we're already in the parking lot" last-minute. My daughter chose Bubba's 33 over Mission BBQ (which, for the record, I also have thoughts about, but that's another review).
I'd never been to Bubba's before. Between all the hype around town and the endless debates in the local mom groups, I just never bothered. After this experience, I can confidently say my streak will likely continue.
If you're looking for a place to waste time, Bubba's 33 absolutely delivers. Generously. Abundantly. Olympic-level time wasting.
My 8-year-old and I waited about 20 minutes to be seated, which wasn't a huge deal. We got settled, our server greeted us, brought our drinks, and then apparently entered the Witness Protection Program.
For roughly the next hour, she became more myth than employee.
Meanwhile, tables seated after us were getting appetizers, entrees, refills, desserts, probably college degrees and retirement plans while we sat there staring at our drinks wondering if we'd somehow become invisible.
Eventually our server reappeared and said, "I'm going to check on your food."
Perfect.
Except I then watched her walk to the POS system, print something, wander around a partition, stop and chat with another table, visit the table behind me, casually migrate to the hostess stand, disappear for about 30 seconds, reappear, make direct eye contact with me, and then immediately go help yet another table.
At that point I wasn't sure if she was checking on my food or participating in a scavenger hunt.
For context, our incredibly complex order consisted of:
* Chicken tenders and fries.
* A bowl of chili.
That's it.
Not a 12-course tasting menu.
Not a custom-built wedding cake.
Not an endangered truffle flown in from Europe.
Chicken tenders. Fries. Chili.
I've seen Amazon deliver furniture faster.
The truly disappointing part is that we'd actually helped facilitate a jersey and helmet that ended up on their wall. So technically, I've contributed more to the décor than my server contributed to my dining experience.
Maybe we caught them on a bad day. Maybe there was some catastrophe in the kitchen. Maybe my food is still being prepared right now as I type this review.
All I know is that my first visit to Bubba's 33 somehow felt longer than most relationships I've been in.
One star for the drinks arriving before retirement age.
One star for teaching my daughter patience.
Everything else remains under investigation.