I wrote a song called "LBC"- if you can't find the music video by searching "LBC" and "Wait What", here are the lyrics:
If you like the look of jellyfish but you are wary of 'em,
Pay thirty bucks to see them at the Aquari-of-um
of the Pacific in LBC.
If you like your modern art to eat beans and say "Hola!"
Get your refined culo downtown to MoLaa.
Mexican art in LBC.
LBC. Once known as "Iowa By the Sea", but that name's lame.
Bob Foster is our city's honorable mayor,
Which means our city's in Foster care.
LBC. You don't say "X" in "Ximeno". LBC. Snoop says Hi.
With so much drama in the LBC
It's kinda hard being Wait W H A T. (wait what)
If you wanna go home and try to stick it in
That fat chick that you met at Acapulco Inn:
Lots of bars on Second Street in LBC.
Ripples is the gayest gay bar in town.
All of their bar stools are upside down
So they can fit more in LBC.
LBC. My grandpa liked... (LBC) ...heavy petting at the Pike.
Wait What is the band. We're no Sublime
But at least our lead singer is still alive.
LBC. Built on oil. (LBC) We drink your milkshake.
With so much drama in the LBC
It's kinda hard being Wait W H A T. (wait what)
The crazy cat ladies that feed cats at the Bluffs
are misunderstood- they just need a little luff.
The cats do too in LBC.
If you think dark people are rather scary,
Don't drive north of 4th on Cherry.
It's not well-lit in LBC.
LBC. Can I take the podium... LBC. ...to address all the Cambodians.
The prices at Legends got much higher
Since the owner started that accidental fire.
LBC. Jesse James... (LBC) ... don't be ashamed.
With so much drama in the LBC
It's kinda hard being Wait W H A T. (wait what)
LBC. Jet Blue! (LBC) But Jet didn't swallow.
The volleyball captain at CSULB-
She has a nice set. She's 34C.
LBC. 44 percent white. (LBC) 56 percent other.
With so much drama in the LBC
It's kinda hard being Wait W H A T.
(wait what)
A few things about Long Beach, where I've lived since 1992.
Long Beach...
...is the most genuine city in Southern California, not as materialistic, homogenized, and generally conservative as Orange County, and not as image-conscious, dirty, and congested as Los Angeles. That's why it's hard to leave. (And also because they towed my car again).
...has the most diligent, hardest working, ambitious parking ticket writers working two days a week just in your area.
... has ghosts, and most of them are dicks. Some may be Native American as we built CSULB over the sacred site Puvungna. We're basically Poltergeist 3.
... has 462,257 people and 401 parking spots
... is the most ethnically diverse large city in the country, and the largest Cambodian population in the country, the significance being DONUTS! (Though I love Gladstone Donuts, my favorite name is "Many Donuts").
... has such a high turnover of vacated apartment, receiving so much fresh paint every year that our windows are hard to open and our cabinets are hard to close.
... used to be the surf capital of the state until the breakwater was formed. Now we have no waves and almost nobody enters the longest beach in the state. But we do have an awesome bike path running from 2nd Street to Shoreline Village, a dog beach, and free summer movies and cool events at the pier. Basically the water is a pretty white-noise machine full of giant ships and poisoned fish.
... has lots of different neighborhoods. You can be driving by big expensive houses (like the one used for Ferris Bueller), turn the corner, and be in the ghettp. One minute you're cool, the next you're Coolio.
... has a street called Junipero. The debate over its pronunciation was settled in my eyes by the dude who writes, "Ask a Mexican"... it is undetermined. But we all agree that Ximeno has a silent Q.
... has the world's largest mural, the nation's skinniest house, and is the most bike-friendly urban city in the country. Bike friendly AND dyke friendly! Nice.
... is the birthplace of Mr. Belvedere, Nicolas Cage, Bo Derek, Cameron Diaz, Snoop Dogg, Warren G, Sublime, Billie Jean King, the chick Phil Spector (allegedly) killed, and me!
... has horrible air thanks to the soot-producing bunker fuel from ships parked in our two large ports, the diesel pollution from the unloaders, trains and trucks, and the sulfur dioxide from the refineries blowing our way. But all that thick dusty air makes quite a SUNSET!! read more