So we decided to 'grab' subs for takeout from Jersey Mike's for lunch on Saturday. Dependable chain, fresh ingredients, great cherry pepper relish. Definitely a regular call for us. And as far as the food goes, this location on this day did not disappoint.
But now for the rest of the story. As I got in the car, I thought "I should prolly use the app and order ahead". But no, I just headed out, entirely ignorant of the adventure that lay ahead.
Walking in, I find about 10 people in line, and a guy standing at the pickup counter, having been the smart one who ordered ahead.
Remember I put 'grab' in quotes? Yeah, hang on.
As another couple posted up behind me in line, that's when heightened reality set in, and I noticed it.......................this machine wasn't moving. There were two young men working, and one of them was a dead giveaway trainee. An expression of dread was on the other young man's face.
Both were doing everything they could do; unavoidably, however, online orders were piling on, the people in line were clueing in and warming up their game face, and all of us could sense the sheer frustration that was setting in for both of them.
So they get through about 2 or 3 customers, complete with every other order including steak-and-peppers-and-oh-snap-one-of-them-has-to-man-the-griddle-again.
And there's the guy at the pickup counter.
Who had frozen in place, and had assumed a countenance best defined as "the onset of dour".
Striking up a convo with the lovely couple behind me, we imagined what would be the worst that could happen if the husband and I donned the gloves and hopped back there with the kids. We did our best to make light of the situation, engaging these two nice, unmistakably overwhelmed young people. And they, in turn, both really tried to keep their composure. Four orders later...........
And there's the guy at the pickup counter.
Whose face had split.
Silently.
At least 3 agonizing orders even later, with the line even longer, and with both exhausted young men having reached full tilt discouragement, it's now my turn, but I'm transfixed by how incredibly difficult it is to believe to believe that......
And there's the guy at the pickup counter.
The younger, clearly less-experienced of the two employees proceeds to exchange alternating glances between Order-Ahead-Two-Halves-Of-A-Face-Guy and me. Just when I thought I was successfully tracking the exchanges, I made the critical error of looking over at the pickup counter, and of being swept into the beam of direct eye contact.
It was then that I fully appreciated how delicate are the balances of nature as ice thins in Spring.
Right as I realized that I, in fact, was positioned at the geometric middle of that balance, the kid looks at me, nods, and asks me what Id like, even while staring down nervously at "THE" online order, the undeniable center of the universe at that moment in space and time, which at this point was giving off its own latent heat.
Almost instinctively, as if remembering knowing not to venture out as far on the lake in March as in February, I pried loose from the suffocating grasp of The Stare, and found that the words " no man, you gotta do his order next" were escaping from my mouth while I simply stood there and observed.
Because at that point, I was overcome with thankfulness that I had not, in fact, ordered online, because I realized if I had, I would be standing right behind No-One-Look-At-The-Pickup-Counter-Again-Guy. And when the thought occurred to me that I had been there for literally 35 minutes, I knew without a doubt that the NASA clock was at T-minus 5 and counting.
Amazingly, and with all due credit to him, he took his order from the now psychologically traumatized trainee, nodded, said thank you, and silently exited the premises. Wwwwhoa.
DEFCON ONE averted.
So 5 stars to both the sweet young men inextricably stuck in sub-topia, and definitely to the giant of a man who consciously decided to be Just-Because-It's-Jersey-Mike's-Doesn't-Mean-It's-Jersey-Guy.
And 5 stars to the #7 and the #10. Always good.
But ZERO stars to the owner of this franchise location.
Hello, McFly?!
It's 12:30 on a Saturday.
It's a beautiful April day in Northeast Florida.
People like Jersey Mike's.
1 + 1 + 1 = Rush Hour.
Do the math, bro, and schedule your workforce accordingly, and quit being either cheap or clueless. Or, of course, perhaps both.
So that's a wrap with 3.33 stars. I'm rounding up, though, because the upside is that you heard this tale on Yelp, and not on the 11 o-clock news that night. ;)
bk
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