Oh IKEA, how I hate thee... If I could give negative stars I would.
For context - I'm what my peeps calls "annoyingly happy" even under the worst circumstances, but all my positivity is no match for the shit show that is IKEA. It beats me down until I'm a shell of myself.
I avoid IKEA like the plague, but when desperation forced me to go (unexpected gut reno of kitchen and no one has cabinets in stock) I had to mentally preparing for the world's worst shopping experience.
Per usual, IKEA is an utterly chaotic torture chamber escape room disguised as a poor excuse for a store. It's as if IKEA had special teams to imagine the absolute worst user experience in order to ruin a perfectly good day. Add smatterings of jerky and incompetent employees, plus antiquated, disorganized, poorly communicated systems and processes, you can be sure that the IKEA experience is bordering abuse. If there is a hell, it would be me stuck in IKEA.
Yes, I knew all this about IKEA going in, so that's not the reason why I gave it negative stars. Today's experience is just EXTRA shitty, which I wasn't sure was possible given how shitty my prior IKEA experience had been.
Here are just some *highlights* of my experience:
1) IKEA randomly close the return line. I live over an hour away and I arrived HOURS before closing and the return line was already closed. WTF? Had to talk to multiple people to figure out how to make this return.
2) Two and half hours later, I make it to the front, my fatal mistake: no receipts (I asked whether having an IKEA family account would be sufficient, and was told yes). My next mistake? Expecting membership to behave like all my other loyalty accounts, but no, it's fuckin' IKEA. They can't look me up based on my email or phone number. The bald Asian returns asshole-ciate, in an extremely condescending tone, told me I should always be carrying my membership card. Really? Who in the hell goes to IKEA enough to carry their stupid membership card around? Oh also, I never got a card.
3) What is the point of IKEA family account if (when I finally managed to find my account number) they can't look up my digital receipt? Asshole-ciate tell me I need to present a receipt. WTF?? Multiple minutes later of me looking for it on my phone, the the returns asshole-ciate finally says, do you have an order number? So I go on a second wild goose chase for it in my deleted emails. Luckily I find a delivery email and it has my order number on it... surprised me since IKEA does zero sensible things. NOTE for IKEA: to further screw over your customers, consider removing all mention of order number as well as member number.
4) IKEA's Google pay system stopped working. He asks if I have the card. Um, no - the whole point of digital payment is that you don't carry the damn card. Then he had the audacity to blame phone, WTF? It works everywhere else, and in your damn screen literally says system abort, but ok. He wants me to show him my phone but yells at my to step back when I put my phone on the counter. He then voids my return (out of spite?) I was so shocked I was paralyzed by utter disgust. I was ready to punch him except another associate stepped in to offered a (really fucked up) solution (but hey, it's a solution). Instead of returning the funds to one of the credit cards I have physically with me (which would be the rational thing to do), he offered to refund to a gift card (to this god forsaken place that I hope to never step foot in), and they would transfer the gift card amount to my credit card if I come back with the physical card. What fuckin' decade are you in, IKEA? Every other store from Walmart to Home Depot automatically return to the form of payment tied to the transaction. Oh, and they can also automatically pull the receipt from a million different sources.
The kicker? When I returned on Monday to get a real refund, they were able to put it onto my physical card which had a different # than my digital one. They basically just didn't want to give me a refund.
5) People were stuck in returns for 3+ hours, and IKEA turned off every source of drinking water in the store at 8 pm, forcing us to purchase water, which goes against my "no disposable plastic" pledge. The planet just died a little. I hope IKEA is happy.
6) BOTH ladies bathrooms were closed for cleaning and the lady cleaning it was taking her sweet time. A pregnant woman and a toddler begged to be let in, but in response, she push the cart to block the entrance. After 15 minutes the 10+ people queued up outside decided to rush the men's bathroom. We're pretty sure she enjoyed her power trip and torturing people. When I left the area after using the men's bathroom, she was STILL"cleaning." 30 damn minutes.
I guarantee that I will do everything in my power to make sure no one I care about (and even people I hate) never shops at IKEA.
Also I hope IKEA gets struck by lightening and burns to the ground. Then I would know there is a god. read more