If we hadn't been stuck in town for the weekend, I would have demanded a full refund and left in a hurry after the first couple of hours.
- CARELESS: Booked a King bed room, got a Queen.
- HUMID: No working fan in the bathroom.
- STALE: Windows don't open enough to even let in some fresh air. Pairs excellently with the complete lack of ventilation anywhere else in the room!
- CHEAP: Bargain-bin bidet somehow made their cheap toilets even more uncomfortable.
- CHEAPER STILL: Sandpaper-quality TP. Particularly great when combined with the shitty bidet.
- AND YET CHEAPER: Microwave literally took 8 minutes to heat room-temperature water to "warm." The refrigerator had clearly been dying for months or possibly years; we enjoyed a nauseating high-pitched oscillating humming noise 24/7 (probably a bad transformer or capacitor, I guess), and the freezer door had been broken so many times that its seat was just a pair of deep gouges in the inside of the unit, rendering the freezer section totally useless and the refrigerator section totally frozen. No matter, I suppose, because within the first hour of being in the room we had no choice but to unplug the fridge to avoid getting physically sick from the noise.
- DIRTY: Bathroom fixtures, handles and typical touch-surfaces in the room clearly hadn't been cleaned at all before our arrival; all were filthy with greasy and fingerprints. We had to wipe the entire place down ourselves.
- LOUD: By far the worst noise insulation of any place I've ever set foot in - and I've lived in apartments my entire life. FAR louder than a college dorm room. In the 3 nights I had to stay here, I accumulated the equivalent of maybe 1 night of really crappy sleep - including napping during the rare 15-minute quiet period during the day. In a fit of sleep-deprived insanity, we once spent about 2 hours just leaning the hotel's pillows against a wall and betting how long it would take for them to be knocked over by a neighbor's activities. (Pro tip: NEVER more than 20 minutes. Best money is on 7-8 or 11-12 depending on time of day/night. Make a drinking game out of it!).
- LOUDER: For the entire duration of our stay, a washing machine somewhere below us would turn on about every hour, then proceed to shake the entire room and everything in it for the next 15 minutes or so. Don't know if it was the staff or a shared laundry area used by visitors, but whatever it was, it was awful. It shook the entire building.
- LOUDER STILL: The occupants above us shook the entire room in proper earthquake fashion whenever they walked across the floor or even just shifted in their bed - which creaked like an ancient wooden boat, as did ours. It was so bad that our drinking cups spilled onto the nightstands or rattled completely off on several occasions.
- AND YET STILL SOMEHOW EVEN LOUDER: The occupants in the adjacent rooms shook the shared wall and floor whenever they walked. Anybody walking in the hallway, whether they were close by or at the other end of the building, would cause the door to rattle and creak; at about 1 AM on the second night, the chain on the door actually slid out of its rails from the vibration. Normal conversation was clearly audible from several rooms away.
- FAN OF SKIN RASHES? Hope you have good lotion. I don't know what they use to wash their laundry, but it appears to be some mixture of black pepper and bleach that they then don't fully rinse out. Neither of us have allergies or sensitive skin, but both of us broke out in hives and rashes after the first night. Thankfully, we brought our own towels and had a blanket in the car that we were able to bring in and use instead of their bedding for the rest of our stay.
- GARBAGE COFFEE, AND NO DRIP: I won't say the brand because it's a bad word, but it starts with a "K" and, if you've ever enjoyed a half-decent cup of coffee in your life, it inevitably ends with dissatisfaction; in any case, that's all they have here for "coffee." There's no drip-pot in the rooms, just a K-bad instant-garbo machine - unlike LITERALLY EVERY other hotel I've ever stayed in or even heard of. I don't get it. Coffee is normally the most basic expectation of any hotel stay, but they can't even get that right. Inconceivable.
- GARBAGE BREAKFAST: Because of covid, you had to order your breakfast the night before and turn in your "menu" at the front desk that night. No big deal... in theory. Unfortunately, everything on this "menu" was completely generic. You want yogurt? Great! Enjoy whatever random leftover-flavor and brand combo they throw at you. Neither of us are picky eaters AT ALL, but breakfast was totally useless; we threw out more than 3/4 of what we received because it was nearly all either some impossible combo of bad brand + weird flavors, or otherwise just plain inedible.
In short, staying here made me wish that I was once more 20 years old and still living in the worst apartments in the region - because they were a dream compared to here. read more