hey guys. I know every single one of our reviews other than one (THE ELBOW ROOM) is a joke to you guys, but this is real. Like so real it's not even funny. This is gonna graphic buckle up. Handing phone over to aria.
hi this is aria yeah its getting hard to type, cant think straight while my stomach is gurgling like a damn fish tank.
so yeah. our "friend" neal said we should try this "gas" monogolian all you can eat. we say sure hell yeah, were game and were big sounds right up our alley
You walk in automatically you know this is giving you the Hershey squirts, your appetite is building because all the seating is a mile away from the entrance (and the bathroom)
anyways we thought we would just slip that in
so yeah were kinda confused about how it works at first and were kind of just throwing anything on our plates, for example, some watery tofu, circular unknown meat patty. ok then they split me and aria up to cook our food. You kinda just awkwardly stand there with strangers and watch the try to chop up that frozen hockey puck. (props on that sauce throw though)
We sit down and eat our first plate, I will admit its on us that it was ass, a practice round is obviously necessary and the lady in front of us was taking forever with the sauces, there was a lot of pressure.
i wish we weren't so naive when we got up for the second plate. we had learned from past mistakes, and we were ready to season that shit up nice. while were in line disaster begins to strike and a war breaks out in our stomachs....
but alas... we persist and continue to yam on this food. (Ok props to them the second plate was actually decent) (props to us though lowkey?) suddenly a voice in arias head tells her to ask where the bathroom is the waiter tells me towards the back... guys i really almost didnt make it
and to make matters worse, someone came in and started watching some anime and didnt throw the phone under the stall to let me watch too
handing to dom so he can speak his truth
Alright I quickly follow aria to the bathroom. If this place doesnt get shut down because of health violations it should get shut down for how thin that toilet paper was while serving that laxative chicken. Mind you there is two stalls, I rush into one and war breaks loose. Im in there for a while, battling physically and mentally. I meet aria back at the table and its obvious things have changed.
We decide that we should never have this food ever again, but we peeped the ice cream bar on the way to the bathroom the second time, so we had to check that out.
we thought to ourselves how can you mess up ice cream.
well they did, yeah, they effed it up bad bad bad. We divulge into our favorite, strawberry. Tasted more like nah, berry? Its not even like we just had some ice cream we put so much chocolate sauce gummy bears and marsh-mellows on it and it still tasted of nothing. Banana pudding was gas though good touch little jello thing we are confused by you.
Total Shits for Dom 4 in 2 hours, Aria 1 (Only ate one piece of meat)
Ok some final thoughts basically anyone who is telling you to eat here is your enemy and dont fall for that tiktok shit, where they zoom in the camera hella to make you think that beef hockey puck will taste good. It will always be ass and no. you cannot mix every sauce together to make it any better. (Blondie with 5 kids, no yum yum sauce and general tsos do not go together)
Wish us luck for the rest of the night ok XOXO read more