Our server last night was Adam, "who tends not to give his name out", and our party of nine immediately understood why:
When you order a flight at Ermanos, you're handed a curved plank of wood with a one inch strip of chalkboard laid across the edge, so you can write in the numbers of which beer you'd like to try from their large but fairly obvious selection. My brother, in an attempt to have a bit of fun, drew one star between each of his numbers to separate them. When our server Adam returned, he held up my brothers board and snottily remarked, "I'm sorry sir, and what exactly are the stars meant to denote?" When my brother replied "Sorry, those were just fun doodles", our server responded by angrily using his thumb to remove all four of these horrid little happy stars, then, moving on the the next board, remarked "Oh good, you did it on this one too." He followed that up by sarcastically pointing out that his seven looked more like a two. Not one ounce of fun in this guy, let alone patience.
(Here's an idea, Ermanos: if you'd like your servers to be able to easily read the numbers that people write down (including my left-handed sibling), maybe try giving them normal sized chalk, instead of the sidewalk chalk that children use to make hopscotch squares.)
Adam then proceeded to snap at everyone at the table when we politely tried to let him know which couples would go on which tab, stating "I don't really need to know whose with who, just where you're sitting, for billing purposes." So we all proceed to sit still and silent because the vibe he's put over the table is that of a disgruntled underpaid kindergarten teacher trying to get the children to go down for a nap.
Their menu is vague. The description of their Farmers Soup quite literally just says "Seasonal Ingredients" which, roughly translated, means "one more question you'll have to ask your server every time you come here." Their grilled cheese, with supposedly five cheeses, tastes similar to the grilled cheese your mom made you as a kid with that cheap singles cheese, but bad, and the onion jam meant to accompany it is overpowering and not complimentary at all.
I made the mistake of ordering a Cobb salad with no eggs, one of the few things on the menu with vaguely recognizable ingredients. I received a wedge of a head of lettuce, topped with the smallest dash of tomatoes and cucumbers, tortilla strips (tortilla strips???), and large pieces of chunky bacon covered in pink fat. After spending a nice chunk of time trying to chop the salad with the butter knife I was given, I gave up, and just as I was about to take a photo of the salad to accompany this review, the manager Brian appeared just in time to whisk it away, which was followed by "Can I buy you a drink?" and a sleazy grin.
Brian, next time: "We're so sorry for your experience tonight, may we offer to get you a drink on the house?" is the more professional way of handling a bad situation with a customer. A beard and dimples won't get you everywhere.
The final touch to the evening was not even the moment when a passing waiter dropped a full glass of water into our friends lap, but when Awesome Adam returned with our checks, almost all of which were incorrect, despite his insistence that we not attempt to help him or move or speak at all. When we, The Table of Nine Who Are Still Being Incredibly Polite and Patient, pointed out that our checks were incorrect, he took them back and proclaimed "Well this is just the worst!" and stomped off. When he returned, he handed them out with a "This is NOT ideal."
I've never in my life left a restaurant without tipping a server, no matter how bad the experience. And then we met Adam. Kudos, Adam. Kudos.
Not to worry though Ermanos. We will not be back. read more