I decided to suspend my disbelief that a restaurant with this bad of a name might actually be worth a try and tried DOG for lunch today. First off, the build-out is pretty impressive. They spent a lot of time and money on building it out, and it shows. Unfortunately, this is where my pleasantries are going to end.
My first experience of the food and beverage program occurred when I took a big gulp of water that had been poured for me. I was instantly transported to the Texas Coast. You know the feeling you have when it's a hot summer day, and you walk into the water to cool off, and the water feels great, but then you accidentally step off the sand bar into water that's a good foot or two deeper than you thought it was right as a wave crests; and since you didn't know that you were about to be submerged up to your eyes in the swirling waters, you hadn't bothered to close your mouth, and suddenly you realize that you've just swallowed 4 ounces of the Gulf of Mexico's finest? It was just like that! The water that I was served was salt water. When I informed our server a minute or two later, he told me that he'd take the bottle to his manager, leaving the half-empty glass behind. He promptly brought us another bottle and let us know that he'd given it to his manager to taste. Several minutes later the manager came over and apologized. When I inquired as to why in the holy hell I was given salt water, she let me know that they'd had some problems with their water softener. Oops!
While we're on the subject of the bizarre, I should note that we were seated right next to a couple of my co-workers. One of them had ordered the French Dip. When it hit his table, we looked over to see how the food looked, and I found it interesting that they have found a way to roast beef that doesn't involve actually cooking the outside. What do I mean? Well look...when you actually roast a big hunk of beef, even if you only get it to rare on the inside, there should probably be something on the outside that is brown, right? Well, this sandwich was just a wall of pink and red. There was no shadow of brown. It actually looked like he'd been served a sandwich with a two-inch thick slab of raw hamburger. He apparently thought the same thing and said "So...would you consider this rare?" The server promptly replied "It's medium-rare, sir." He was nice enough to offer to "take it back and cook it more." When it came back, it looked like a normal roast beef sandwich, where the beef has been cooked to medium-rare. I assumed that perhaps they were cooking it sous-vide and not bothering to sear the outside. We eavesdropped on the manager informing them (I think?) that the beef is done in a Combi or an Alto Shaam or something. I dunno what exactly they're doing, but they're not doing it right. If they keep doing it that way, there's going to be an awful lot of re-fires.
On to the menu. It's fine. Nothing more, and nothing less. My wife asked if she could take a look at the dinner menu but was perplexed when she was told that there was no dinner menu. "No no...I don't want to order off it. I just want to look at it." The server explained that it was the same menu for lunch and dinner. I understood her confusion, because the all-day menu looks like it would be a lunch menu. It's a bunch of fairly ordinary apps, salads, sandwiches, and a few non-sandwich items, including a grilled chicken breast. Quick question: why does anyone still menu a grilled chicken breast? Are there still people out there who see a grilled chicken breast on a menu and think "My favorite! Can't wait to order that bad boy!" But don't worry, it has a honey-lime glaze.
If you're still awake, I'll let you know about the rest of the beverage program: As far as wine goes, if you're really into high-end grocery store stuff and/or blue chip wineries from the 80's and 90's, then you're going to love this list. If you're the type who likes to try something other than run of the mill, then you're pretty much S.O.L. The beer list is short, but fine--enough locals and a couple of non-local micros help there. The cocktail list isn't populated with the kind of stuff that skinny dudes with carefully-waxed moustaches would want to make, but on the other hand, it's mostly full of summer cocktails that go down easy, which is a pleasant surprise in our current age of overwrought mixology.
I'm sure a lot of people are really going to like Down on Grayson. It's just about the least offensive restaurant that I can possibly imagine. If they can figure out how to work that Culligan contraption out back, I could see myself being talked into going back to slam a few after-work drinks and soak up the booze with sliders or nachos, and I guess it's not such a bad thing to have a joint like that in the neighborhood. read more