Zoiks. This was a disappointment. D'Brickashaw, the food loving T-Rex, was not impressed, either. Sad that it was because I had such high expectations, set by some of these glowing Yelp reviews and pictures. Nestled just off what seems like the main drag of Goleta, my sister and I entered what seemed like a small cafe. The pleasant surprise was that this place is actually quite spacious. It's rather huge. That's where pleasant ends. Decor is what I would expect a "Mom n Pop"cafe to have so I won't knock it on that. It was also clean. That's important to me. Call me crazy. C'mon!!!
We seated ourselves and took in the area and synced up to their complimentary wifi and poured over the menu, that was presented to us in short time. At first I thought the flow of service was set...but...but...it was not to be. I'm gonna blame timing because maybe they were expecting the place to be busy, but morning hours at a popular place, it seems implied. At the time we arrived it seemed like it was 1 vs the world and as the meal progressed and cups stayed empty, that became more the tone. It wasn't packed in there, but there was one large group and a couple families, including the two of us, but it was no onslaught. 75% of the establishment was still empty. Food did come fast but that was really the only thing that did. Refills barely did, nor was the finish to the dining experience. So...yea...service was a bit lacking.
Now to the meat of this experience and home to the Great Depression. My sister and I had general ideas what we wanted so picking was a problem. She had the enchilada omelet and I had the Joe's Goleta omelet. The descriptions did well for a quick sell. The enchilada omelet is pretty self-explanatory, it's an enchilada but use an omelet as the vessel instead of a tortilla. As for mine dish, a beast stuffed with avocado, lemon chicken and a nutty salsa. Sounds pretty rad, right? Now, heres the thing. Had I closed my eyes and ate this, I wouldn't have tasted any of that stuff. I would have recognized the textures but, to my amazement, I lost all the flavors. They were all drowned out in the heaviness of the egg. I literally had to take the platter apart to tasted each component, individually. That says a bit since avocado is quite a standout flavor. I couldn't find it. Not on my plate! Not in that pile. The egg was overpowering everything! As for my side of country style potatoes...those didn't have much of a taste either. They just tasted like potatoes. Yea, I know, that sounds stupid but breakfast tatoes and hashbrowns have a taste, a distinctive taste that the cooking oil gives it. My tatoes seemed dry and flavorless so I had to smother them in ketchup to give it a hand.
I wanted to believe I just picked a dud off the menu but I saw my sister suffering the same fate. I took a bite and figured out why she was suffering. Her plate was also a pile of flavorless sorrow. The egg was also winning the battle. The shame was the enchilada sauce we very tame to both of our non-smoking palettes. Then there was the meat. That sad, dry crumble that was in the omelet. I tasted it on it's own and while I tasted a hint of salt...it was only slightly. There was no moisture to be found. Meat with no juice just has sad panda written all over it. That was actually a shock because the tastes on her plate were suppose to be very assertive. They weren't. It was pretty damning.
Thankfully pricing was ok but the damage was done. As cross country travels go, this will be a place I skip. Unfortunately, this may be a Mexican restaurant, but this is a restaurant that turned into a Mexican't. Eat up, Minions!! read more