*Note: this review is focusing only on food that you can eat while there.*
We all know the Petula Clark lyrics by heart,
"When you're alone, and life is making you hungry you can always go...to Costco."
And she's totally right. When I'm really hungry, and I just happen to be at Polaris, Costco is the place to sate my appetite. Why? Because they give away free food. They have these people who just stand around, and let you sample food they made. Sure, maybe you'll get only sliver of cheese, or one shrimp, or one pita chip & a teaspoon of hummus, but if you keep going back multiple times, it's like a meal. Also, THEY CAN'T STOP YOU FROM GOING BACK. Their job is to give you samples, not to instill morals and values into your thought processes. Go ahead, take four samples of a quarter of a frozen mini cheeseburger to make a whole mini cheeseburger, and then wash it down with 5 sample cups of some weird glucosamine orange drink that supposedly helps you with joint pain. And you wanted to go to Mitchell's Steakhouse?? They don't have half the variety on their menu that Costco samples give you. Also, who doesn't like meals that come in little paper sample cups?
Being one with a hearty appetite, I know that sometimes you just want a real sit down meal. Well, Costco can give you that, too. They sell whole, fully-roasted chickens for $4.99. And they're really delicious. Here's what you do: buy one of those chickens, then sit at a whimsical, umbrella-shaded indoor picnic table at the front of the store, where the snack bar is located. Grab a plastic knife & fork, loads of napkins, and go to town on that chicken! I've done this before, and I must also state you should be prepared for the icy stares of people jealous of you, because you're eating a delicious chicken, while they opted for the $1.50 1/4 lb+ hot dog/Polish sausage with fountain drink [unlimited refills!] combo. Not that the hot dog/polish sausage is bad, but come on, it's a whole chicken for $5. Also, I think Costco is trying to pull a fast one on us, as I cannot tell the difference between the hot dog & the Polish sausage. I think it's just like how oil change places ask you what kind of oil you want, you tell them "20W50", and then they go "Okay!" and proceed to put whatever oil they got in the stock room into your engine.
The whole snack bar at Costco is some of the best cheap ass food you can get: $1.99 for a giant slice of pizza; pepperoni, cheese, & "combo" (sausage, onions, pepperoni, green peppers, olives) are all the same price & come with unlimited parmesan & crushed red pepper packets. [You can also order a whole 18" pizza to go for $10.] The chicken Caesar salad is 3.99, and is a meal for 2. The ever popular chicken bake [think of a chicken calzone, but w/no red sauce] and the new-within-the-past-year hot turkey provolone ciabatta sandwich are also quite tasty at around $3. And of course, there's dessert: what feels like 1.5 lbs of frozen yogurt for under $2, a fruit smoothie or frozen iced coffee for $1.50, or grab a sugary churro for $1. Today, I bought an ice cream bar for $1.50. It was hand-dipped in thick, rich chocolate right before my eyes, and coated in crushed almonds. I paid in quarters! How the hell did I get so many quarters? Oh I should state that the snack bar only takes cash. But you don't need much cash to have a giant meal. Some time ago, I calculated what it would cost to get one of every item on the menu: around $37 for more food than you can ever imagine.
Yes, a Costco membership is $50. But think about this: you can easily spend $50 on dinner for 4 at a chain restaurant. A typical dinner for 4 at the snack bar, w/drinks & dessert, will probably run you $20. You take your family to Costco two times, and that membership paid for itself with the money you saved from not going to Chili's. Oh, and along with the roasted chicken, sometimes they have barbecue ribs...that are way better than Chili's baby-back-I-want-my-baby-back-baby-back ribs. See? The Costco snack bar is where it's at.
How did Petula Clark sing about a great place to eat, twenty years before it came into existence? Because she's part of a time-traveling alien race. Or maybe she's a robot from the future. Regardless, she knew what she was talking about. Thanks, Petula! read more