CLINK - Because what every girl is their mid-20s is looking for is a 50 year old man with his shirt unbuttoned down to his navel.
First I will start with the good, because after all I gave Clink 4 stars. Because Clink is in the lobby of the hotel, it stays open later than two, so I get to spend more time watching Balison get crazy on strangers. Also, large glasses of wine. And people come here to act pretentious, so you know you will meet some characters. And honestly, cool scene. But let's get down to the good stuff.
Sometimes when I'm getting ready to go out, I look in the mirror and think - "Man, Jen S...you know what you haven't done in a while? You haven't gotten hit on by a really old man who will blatantly attempt to use his money to attract you. I'm talking OLD man...dentures wearing, almost-in-adult-diapers old man." Then I put on my best standing around shoes and hop the nearest Boston Cab to Clink. This bar never ceases to disappoint. Below are some of the men that you will literally find at this bar every time you go.
(1) The Radiologist aka Dr. Steve.
The first time I met Dr. Steve, I was with my friend Crazypants. Balison and I have been hanging with Crazypants (CP to make it easier on my typing fingers) and she fits in well with us - see the nickname. This guy sidled up to us, bald head glimmering in the dim lighting, paunch hanging aggressively over his belt buckle, and coolly informed me that he makes over $500,000, and is in fact a doctor in private practice.
Were I not a nice young woman, I would have inquired why he didnt use some of that hard earned dough to get hairplugs, liposuction, and some class. Thankfully, I bit my tongue because moments later he invited us to attend one of his "parties" frequented by over 300 influential people. CP and I will surely be banging down the door of that party this summer. Unless I have my frontal lobotomy scheduled for that day.
(2) Dr. Steve's friend, "The Bulgarian"
Because we are the luckiest women in the world, Dr. Steve introduced us to his friend, after he asked CP if she liked Bulgarians (apparently he had his sights set on me - YESSSSSSSSSSSS) and she replied no. That didn't dissuade Dr. Steve...he wanted to hook his boy, The Bulgarian, up with CP. No wonder - her pants were looking particularly crazy on this night. Naturally, CP ignored The Bulgarian. But two weeks later, at this very same hotel "lounge", The Bulgarian appeared as though from nowhere to ask my group of friends "May I ask you a question, as females?" to which my friend replied "None of us are female" to which The Bulgarian - seemingly unphased - replied "you all look like females to me." Astute.
(3) The hot bartender from Harvard Gardens who had to clean up Balison's puke (by the way do you think there's any way he reads these?)
Okay, technically he doesnt work at Clink, but he works downstairs at Alibi (no longer at Harv Gardens) and his name is Justin. Seriously, go check him out.
(4) The Man With the Fake Tan and His Shirt Unbuttoned to His Navel, showing off Considerable White Chest Hair Because he is ONE HUNDRED AND TWO YEARS OLD.
Oh Im sorry. Did I say "The MAN" SINGULAR? Don't you worry - Jen S. and Balison wont be monopolizing all of these fine specimens - there are plenty to go around. Most recently I went out with Balison, CP, and Balison's roommate The Melestor and there was a swarm. Balison and The Melestor settled on talking to two "pilots" who were furiously showing off chest hair and looked like they had been tanning on the surface of the sun before jetting back to earth to arrive at Clink and pursue us. Thankfully, the night ended with only the Melestor exchanging digits, which is okay, because she likes a crusty old man.
In conclusion, go to Clink, drink their large glasses of wine, and say hello to the old people for me - just make sure you speak loudly and into the ear with the hearing aid. read more