Ehhh, Chili's is adequate if not astonishing.
I last came to this West Mifflin Chili's franchise in 2003. Then unemployed, I was being treated to lunch by my sympathetic mother and bought Metallica's St. Anger fresh from the factory with what little cash I had on hand at The Exchange in nearby Century Square...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejYUoNfDgUY
It turned out that I liked St. Anger a bit more than my meal.
Last night, Kay discovered a gift card for Chili's in the abyss of her satchel. To the wilds of West Mifflin we headed to redeem it only to wait 20 minutes for a table amongst suburban families and Harley-Davidson aficionados.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-H3LS2m3b0
The salsa we were given was more like a cold, spicy soup. The tortilla chips were akin to eggshells, falling apart in the salsa and the dismal mud of the Skillet Queso, a dull quagmire of cheese, beans, and tiny morsels of beef.
Kay wanted no part of the guacamole, so to quell my superfood craving, I ordered the Avocado Burger...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI6Ab3ZCMSY
Cooked to a medium-rare as per my specifications, the patty, humid, thick, and perfectly fine in every way, came inside a whole wheat bun with Swiss cheese, avocado slices, and an "avocado-ranch" to make it a bit more intriguing than the standard bacon-cheeseburger.
The thick fries were a bit too starchy and mushy on the insides. Am I who I think I am? A discerning fan of spuds dunked in hot oil?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o22qU9-Lxuw
Hey, it's my favorite track off the record. I had to find a way to work it into the review somehow.
Onto dessert...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58-AndGTKy0
Something tells me the Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie is Chili's best dessert. Call it a hunch, something I can't quite point at?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRfKfBSWRp0
A warm cookie dough with nuts, coconut shreds, hot fudge, caramel, and vanilla ice cream is an easy crowd-pleaser considering every other such restaurant has a similar item on their menus. Hot-n-gooey met cold-n-creamy, married, and had a respectable child.
That's Chili's: Respectable and not much more, and like the album St. Anger, I like the place more now than I did 9 summers ago. They are what Mad Mex would become if Bob Rock got a hold of them.
P.S. Chili's used to have an onion blossom appetizer on their menu once, didn't they? If so, would that make it Mustaine or Newsted? Can we expect a new band or side-project? Will it defect to another restaurant like Jason did with Voivod?
P.P.S. Shamefully, two of the waitresses came off like Lars and James, tyrannizing another poor server as if she was Kirk. Ours was more on the Robert Trujillo side; she was new and just stayed out of it. Nonetheless, it was uncalled for. Tense, awkward, and painful to witness, it certainly hindered the enjoyment of our dinner a notch. read more