Norman Bates and Mother?
The tone was set when I asked our waiter which wine by the glass was most like a Napa Chardonnay and he said with an irritated tone, "None of them are; they're Chilean," folded his arms, pursed his lips, raised his eyebrows, and said nothing more, offering no suggestions. After an uncomfortable minute or two, he said, "I can give you a taste," and off he went.
Cathryn -- yes, the owner -- walked by while he was gone and I said, "Our waiter didn't seem to want to offer up any information about your wine selections." She said, "Oh, he always defers to me when I'm here."
Having dined at Cathryn's the week prior and receiving great service from a woman whose name I wish I could remember, I had a tasty hangar steak stuffed with gorgonzola. I asked our waiter, the 'Tude Dude,' if it was available again. He said it wasn't, but that he'd ask the chef if he could make it: "They like to be asked first." Fair enough. And off he went.
He came back, pronounced with a decidedly haughty air, that the dish was available. So I ordered it, requesting that it be prepared medium rare.
This time my steak was tough, dry, tasteless, and overcooked. When Mr. 'Tude sashayed by and asked how it was, I told him. He stepped back, did the arm-folding and lip-pursing thing again, and said, "Do you want me to take it back?" I was a little apologetic -- I don't like to waste food -- to which he responded, "DO. YOU. WANT. ME. TO. TAKE. IT. BACK?" I said "Yes, please."
While waiting for round two, we observed our waiter at other tables exhibiting the same perturbed body language: left arm over his chest, right elbow folded on top, right fist closed except for his index finger raised alongside his pursed lips.
The second order came back browned on the outside and dripping blood on the inside (there's a difference between rare and raw). At that point, I called Mr. 'Tude back over and told him that I was just going to get the dish wrapped to go, figuring I could cook it myself at home. He was straight-up nasty to me, at which point I said, "You know, I'm not sure what's with your attitude, but you've been rude from the moment we first spoke with you." To which he replied, "I'm just going to get Cathryn. This is above my pay." And off he stormed to tell Mommy.
Cathryn shows up. "I hear there's a problem here?" I told her about the dish, but said that it was really the waiter's nasty attitude that bothered me the most. Her response? "You must have gotten off on the wrong foot or something because he's one of my best staff; he's been with me for ten years." I said something like, "Well, he's been straight-up-rude to us the entire time." To which she replied, with an insincere tone, a hostile look, and a hands-in-prayer pose plus a faux genuflecting motion, "I pray we can do better next time," and walked off.
Our bill shows up, delivered by a different wait-staffer, who said, "A glass of wine is on the house."
My adult nephew, a public relations and marketing expert, said to me, "Wow. I can't believe that the owner would be so indifferent to a customer's experience as to send out someone else, rather than saying, 'What can I do to make your experience better and to make sure you give us another try?' That bothers me more than the quality of the food."
I'll second that. But I won't give Cathryn's a second try. That's the last time I'll pay $80 to be abused; and it would have been more, had they not comped a glass of wine - and had I left a tip, which I did not (a first).
My only explanation/hypothesis is that our waiter was Norman Bates and Cathryn is his Mommie Dearest (or he's a relative of some sort); why else would she be so defensively protective of his offensive behavior?
That said, my friend owns a landmark restaurant in New York that her adult daughter manages in an exemplary way and her young adult son bus-person works harder than any other staff; she says that she expects more of her family members when it comes to upholding her restaurant's reputation. She held my son to that standard, too, when he bussed for her for two summers during college break.
The lesson is that leadership, good or bad, comes from the top down. And I'm not down with Cathryn's. read more