Hello. Today was one of the worst days of my life. I am very passionate about the food I put in my mouth and digest. However, this "food" was far from edible. I woke up at approximately 12 PM after a long night of drinking. My girlfriend and I were craving a steak. We were looking at restaurants and decided to go with the Bar-B-Que Pit, boy was that the worst decision of our lives. If I could go back in time I would slap myself silly and make myself starve. Ultimately that's what I ended up doing anyways - starving. When my girlfriend brought the steaks home, I was so excited to open the container and dig in. My eyes were not prepared for what I was about to see. I could not believe that is what they called a steak. I ordered a medium rare steak, and what I got back was a rubber dog toy. I was optimistic and so was my girlfriend. We believed in the steak that we had sitting in front of us. As my girlfriend begin to cut the steak, it almost broke the silverwear. As she started cutting the steak, I saw her bicep vein bulging, and a bead of sweat run down her forehead. Enough was enough, I decided to go get my chainsaw from the garage to cut through the leather they called a "steak". Once I got our steaks cut, my girlfriend said take a deep breath "on three we will take a bite at the same time". "1... 2...3..." the very moment I put that steak in my mouth I instantly wished I didn't have taste buds. I spit the steak out onto the floor, furiously gagging asking my girlfriend for juice. All I knew right then and there was I needed to get that god forsaken taste out of my mouth. My dog, who typically eats ANYTHING, came over to eat what he thought was a piece of food that was dropped on the ground, but when he sniffed it he yapped, tucked his tail, and ran into another room. At this point, my house was in a full fledge panic. My girlfriend was in the bathroom rinsing her mouth out with mouthwash. We both were still starving once we finally settled down back on the couch. We still had garlic bread and mashed potatoes. We told each other the mashed potatoes would not be nearly as bad as the steak. Once again, boy were we wrong. I could not believe what I have put in my mouth for the second time. I truly thought I ate a piece of cat litter... these mashed potatoes were not seasoned with anything like salt or garlic. They were seasoned and soaked in cat urine. At this point, tears started to form in my eyes and my body went into fight or flight mode. My girlfriend and I looked at each other and said a few choice words that I will spare you from. Her and I clearly did not learn our lessons. We yet again decided to take a bite of the zucchini. To be fair, this was the best out of the three however, it was as soggy as a piece of bread left out in the rain. Speaking of bread... The garlic bread or should I say potato chip that we got with our meals were so crunchy. The moment my girlfriend bit into it her tooth nearly broke. She let out a few choice words. And we both decided that it was best to not only throw the food out but to burn it. We even burned garbage bag we used to dispose of the food. I wish the story was made up, but unfortunately every single bit of it is true. I want every single one of you reading this to understand and learn from our mistakes. as a passionate food critic, I am trying to spare you all a trip to the dentist, gastroenterologist, and the hospital. This food was so foul I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. I hope you all have a better day than me. Thank you. read more